4-4-10B poorGod

4-4-10
Sun easter
Uh…sometime during church

Why didn’t people ask Jesus for money? Or wealth? Why did beggars and the desperately destitute approach Him without ceremony? Could it be because Jesus was poor?
When you have extra, it is awfully hard to talk about Christ to those who lack. How does it feel for a man with no coat to hear Christ’s words taught by a man with 2 coats? How did it feel for a man with no coat to hear Christ’s words spoken by Christ, who had no home?

4-4-10A shower

4-4-10
Sun (Easter)
8:35

1 Cor 15 is cool to read around Easter.
So… god reminded me of something the other day. At the place I stay here, there are fire-heated outdoor shower. One chillyish morning I woke up and looked outside my door. There was smoke coming over the top of the shower stalls, so I knew that the workers were heating the water. But, I knew to wait ~ ten minutes until the smoke died down, because by then the water should be hot and the coals would be glowing. After the smoke stopped, I got ready and headed over to the shower. As I walked over, I heard the familiar spurting and spattering of watter that comes from the steam pressure release tube over the shower’s tin roof. This is the best and surest sign that the water is ready. So, I got undressed and turned on the water and eiee it was so cold! I went around back to check the fire, and found only cold ashes there. I found that the smoke had been coming from the neighbor’s compound, and the spattering watter was from the wet leaves of the trees above, spattering watter on the tin roof when the wind blew. I still took a shower, but I hade a very cold morning (I just realized that “water” only has 1 “t”)
so…the same is true of people. You can see them doing good things or acting in a good way, and see evidences of who they are (like seeing the smoke over the shower), and you can heart them saying good things and right things and hear evidences of who they are (like hearing spattering on the tin roof), but all the right sounds and sights will never make hot water. It only makes a difference if the smoke and spattering are coming form the Fire (in the heart) itself.
……….why can’t God teach me stuff from warm showers?

4-3-10 photoofamountain

4-3-10
Sa
23:02

Writing about some of the people and experiences over here is like taking a picture of a mountain top view: it doesn’t do any just to the real thing.
I can talk about the mom who is HIV positive whose husband left her because she is HIV positive. She made it known that she was positive so that she could get special treatment to prevent her children from being born with HIV. Now, her former husband is living promiscuously in town, and she is raising 2 beautiful children by herself in Tuwani slum. The children are free of HIV. The mom wants to inform and encourage other HIV women to make good decisions. When you look into her eyes, you see a rare bravery.
Silvanus is a young boy. Last week, he went home to find that his family had moved without telling him. His parents had already left him, and he was living with his grandparents now, but they didn’t think they could keep taking care of him, so they didn’t invite him along when they moved. Silvanus lives with a deep understanding of rejection and little understanding of Love, home, and acceptance. I gave him a ride on my shoulders at the school, and you would have thought he had just been chosen king or something. He was so happy. For a little while, he forgot that no one in his family wants him. We are searching for a good home for him
An orphanage/foster home for 15ish kids had run out of food for a few days. I gave them some few chapatti and stew and $2.63 for more food. That night, a young girl named Brenda borrowed someone’s cell phone to call me to thank me for feeding her. How do you even describe what it feels like to receive that call. It seems so unjust that I should be thanked so much for doing so little.
We are visiting the homes of the kids @ Neema school in Tuwani slum. They are so thankful for us coming into their mud, 1 room apartments that they have offered us gifts of chickens, milk, and sugarcane. Some of them have gotten together to take a collection for us to thank us for helping their children (last we heard, they had collected up to $1.32). It is a greater gift than all the kings of the world could ever compile.

4-2-10 goodmorningamerica

4-2-10
Fr
13:55

I had a really good morning thismorning. I went to Daniel’s compound and we read and talked about the Bible and other stuff. We confessed sin and prayed for eachother. I think that going home (america) this time will be a whole lot different than other times.
Jesus lives in Tuwani slum, but He also has an apartment in providence. It will be really good to hang out at His place when I get back. Today is good Friday.

3-30-10 idealistblasingleness

3-30-10
Tu
23:03

Man, I can be really insensitive. My mind gets so caught up in idealist truths that I forget that just because something is true doesn’t mean that it isn’t heartbreaking or frightening. Pastor Peter received a death threat for him and his family last night. Job has also been threatened. Children are rejected by all of their family and extended relatives. children are deprived food by evil men. Others simply have no one to give them dinner (or lunch or breakfast). Wives are abandoned by husbands. Sons and daughters are abandoned by fathers.
I realize too, how much easier it is to be single than married. I want to be married. There have been times that I have felt very lonely. I don’t feel lonely now,but I find myself acting lonely (tempted to flirt with girls who I am not even romantically interested in, etc…). I struggle with lust too. I’m really frustrated by it and I am praying against it. I wish God would instantly take away the struggle, but I am praying and fighting against it. Anyway, it is so much easier to be single than married. For instance, I have nothing in life or death to fear. The worst someone can do to me is torture, humiliate, and kill me, and then I get to spend the rest of eternity enjoying the best place that God ever made (that I know of) (to make an incomplete understatement). Not bad eh?

3-29-10 divide

3-29-10
Mo
21:44

-Divide in me the things that are from You from the things that are from me. Divide my desire for adventure from my desire to follow You anywhere. Divide my lack of consideration fro personal safety from the fearlessness that comes from knowing You and Your Love. Divide my trust in You from my pride. Divide my irresponsibility from my reckless abandon of myself to You. Divide the desires that You put in my heart from my natural desires. Divide my self pity from my broken heart from You. Divide my thoughts from Your thoughts. My ways from Your ways. Divide my Faith from my foolishness and lazyness. Divide my heart with Your double edged sword. -

3-28-10 ahh...

3-28-10
Su
21:49

Ahh…I’ll write in the morning.

3-24-10 encouraged

3-24-10
Wed
21:33

I am so encouraged by 2 things.
The moms or grandmas or dads of the kids who live in Tuwani slum are stepping up, taking up the challenge of caring for their kids, and they are challenging eachother. That’s sweet.
The 2nd thing that encourages me is that Bob and LuAnn aren’t possessive of the ministry or method that God has given them. They don’t see themselves or their ministry as superior. They aren’t exclusive or proud of their abilities.
God has really good plans.
That’s encouraging.

3-20-10 teamission

3-20-10
Sat
14:09

LuAnn has strong Typhoid right now. I’m just with her and Bob in their room. We’re listening to music. Boy, this day didn’t go how I planned it (I guess it serves me right for planning it in the first place). I love Bob and LuAnn. They are real special to me. Faith is not success. Faith is knowing God. My thoughts seem so scattered because I am taking breaks for conversation between sentences. I am so comfortable and relaxed with Bob and LuAnn. They Love and accept me. I wish they would let me in Tuwani alone, but they say no cuz they care about me too. It is so good to be with people who you can just be yourself completely with. We all need Christ pretty badly. Boy, sometimes i take a moment to think and I just feel pretty stupid. I’m so glad that God likes stupid people too. If God didn’t choose the weak and foolish to do His work, we’d all be out of a job.
We never stop learning. You wana know what’s cool? What we are doing over here isn’t our mission or our project. It’s God’s. –Father, be with [your children]. You will not snuff out the fading ember. You will not break the bruised reed. Father, bring fire and healing and strength. In Jesus’ name.-
If everything we are working for collapses before our eyes, still God is God. His Love for the children and families is greater than we can imagine. His plan for them is greater than we can imagine.
These children are more precious than life itself. Abortion and glue sniffing and abuse make me so sad and helpless. –Father, protect Your children-

3-15-10B eyes

3-15-10
Mon
15:59

-Father, I want to see Your eyes. I want to look into Your eyes. To see Your beauty in Your eyes. To see the Love in Your eyes. To see the sorrow in Your eyes. To see the pain in Your eyes. To see the Light and Joy in Your eyes. To see the jealousy in Your eyes. To see the anger in Your eyes. To see others and myself reflected in Your eyes.-
-Father, I want You to guide me with Your eye. To know You so intimately that you can speak to me with a glance, with a look. I want to see where Your eyes are looking. To see who You are looking at. Father, I want to be guided by Your eye.-

3-15-10A love eh

3-15-10
Mon
15:44

“do you love Me?” “feed My lambs”
“do you love Me?” “tend my sheep”
“do you love Me?” “feed my sheep” (John :neartheend)
Every power every knowledge, and every wisdom is nothing without Love. Every gift and spiritual word and prayer is nothing without Love. Every work, every sacrifice, and every service is nothing without Love (1 cor 13)
All the law and prophets are from and for and complete in Love
-Father, teach me to Love. I love You.-

3-14ish-10 churchnotes

3-14ish-10
Sun
11:73pm

The nice thing about journaling during church is that everybody just thinks that you are taking notes on the sermon (I wonder where that word came from). I am surrounded by children, they are playing with my journal securing rope, and rubbing or pulling the leg hair on my shins, and poking the veins on my feet. Wazungu re such curious (strange) people. I am tired (physically, mentally, spiritually). Yesterday I had 6 mandazi for breakfast and lunch combined. Yesterday I barely spent time with God. I am really excited to spend time with Jared praying together. I want to take communion w/Jared and Daniel. Bob has stage 2 malaria. He is really tired. God will heal him –Father, heal Bob. I’m asking this in the name of Jesus- oh, and Daniel Lipparelli turned 30 yesterday. He seems younger, but he has some wisdom that is beyond his age. –Please send Daniel a woman who is after You. Bless and teach Daniel this year. Give him peace. Let him hear Your voice clearly-
It was really good to hang out with Amanda (Goble) over the last couple of days. It is cool the way that God has brought healing and reconciliation. Real cool. God has built friendships that blow my mind. –by the way God, thank You so so much for what You have been doing in Aly’s life. Give her strength beyond what she has ever experienced. Give her the desires of hear heart. Thank You so much for her friendship- ohwt, the church service is over.
God has been giving me the Vision for mentoring some of the street kids and other kids. Mentoring sounds like a goofy word for what I am talking about. I just want to share with and join with my young friends, and kids who I care about. I don’t feel equipped or sufficient, but if I follow God’s leading He will fill my lack. If I don’t follow His leading, I am only dehydrating my already dry vitality.

3-5-10 busrevelations

3-5-10
Fri
21:10

So, the adventures and conversations have been sweet. Between the last 2 days we have been traveling by bus for close to 24 hours through Tanzenia. You know what? After long, bumpy bus rides that start early in the morning, wazungu, wafrika, missionaries, Muslims, Masii tribesmen, Chinese, Catholics, and scholars all look pretty much the same. We are all just human. In times of clarity like that, it makes fearing man or hightly esteeming man look pretty silly.
It is really good being with Jared. Iron sharpens iron. I get dull really fast when i’m not challenged. Sharpening comes through friction, not through smooth resistanceless contact. Sharpening comes through direct contact.
I’m tired (physically)

3-3-10 adventure

3-3-10
Wed
12:12

I like adventures…alot. Right now I am sitting by a busy road in Mwanza, Tanzenia. Delux hotel was cheap and worked for a good place to stay, but they must have looked up “delux” in a different dictionary than mine. Their dictionary said this: Delux: an accomidation with no lights on the third floor (the floor where room 17 is), there is paint coming off the walls, the bathroom has no toilet sat, the toilet leaks alot (fortunately only the clean water), the sink drain has no pipe, so the water just pours onto the floor, but this is OK (aside from having to stand back from the sink to keep your feet dry), because the bathroom floor has a drain in the corner, which works out nicely because the bathroom floor is also the shower floor (which is also kinda dirty), (and there is nothing like a good cold shower to refresh you). The bathroomdoor doesn’t have a handle, so you have to practically kick in the door to open it. The room door, however, did have a handle, and after spinning it in circles and applying just the right pressure, you can open it in 2-5 minutes. (although, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to ever open the door to leave such a fine, stylish accomidation.)
P.S. remind me to tell you about Jared and adventures and such