Beyond Recognition

4-4-10B poorGod

2010-04-08T04:11:00.003-07:00

4-4-10
Sun easter
Uh…sometime during church

Why didn’t people ask Jesus for money? Or wealth? Why did beggars and the desperately destitute approach Him without ceremony? Could it be because Jesus was poor?
When you have extra, it is awfully hard to talk about Christ to those who lack. How does it feel for a man with no coat to hear Christ’s words taught by a man with 2 coats? How did it feel for a man with no coat to hear Christ’s words spoken by Christ, who had no home?

4-4-10A shower

2010-04-08T04:11:00.001-07:00

4-4-10
Sun (Easter)
8:35

1 Cor 15 is cool to read around Easter.
So… god reminded me of something the other day. At the place I stay here, there are fire-heated outdoor shower. One chillyish morning I woke up and looked outside my door. There was smoke coming over the top of the shower stalls, so I knew that the workers were heating the water. But, I knew to wait ~ ten minutes until the smoke died down, because by then the water should be hot and the coals would be glowing. After the smoke stopped, I got ready and headed over to the shower. As I walked over, I heard the familiar spurting and spattering of watter that comes from the steam pressure release tube over the shower’s tin roof. This is the best and surest sign that the water is ready. So, I got undressed and turned on the water and eiee it was so cold! I went around back to check the fire, and found only cold ashes there. I found that the smoke had been coming from the neighbor’s compound, and the spattering watter was from the wet leaves of the trees above, spattering watter on the tin roof when the wind blew. I still took a shower, but I hade a very cold morning (I just realized that “water” only has 1 “t”)
so…the same is true of people. You can see them doing good things or acting in a good way, and see evidences of who they are (like seeing the smoke over the shower), and you can heart them saying good things and right things and hear evidences of who they are (like hearing spattering on the tin roof), but all the right sounds and sights will never make hot water. It only makes a difference if the smoke and spattering are coming form the Fire (in the heart) itself.
……….why can’t God teach me stuff from warm showers?

4-3-10 photoofamountain

2010-04-08T04:10:00.002-07:00

4-3-10
Sa
23:02

Writing about some of the people and experiences over here is like taking a picture of a mountain top view: it doesn’t do any just to the real thing.
I can talk about the mom who is HIV positive whose husband left her because she is HIV positive. She made it known that she was positive so that she could get special treatment to prevent her children from being born with HIV. Now, her former husband is living promiscuously in town, and she is raising 2 beautiful children by herself in Tuwani slum. The children are free of HIV. The mom wants to inform and encourage other HIV women to make good decisions. When you look into her eyes, you see a rare bravery.
Silvanus is a young boy. Last week, he went home to find that his family had moved without telling him. His parents had already left him, and he was living with his grandparents now, but they didn’t think they could keep taking care of him, so they didn’t invite him along when they moved. Silvanus lives with a deep understanding of rejection and little understanding of Love, home, and acceptance. I gave him a ride on my shoulders at the school, and you would have thought he had just been chosen king or something. He was so happy. For a little while, he forgot that no one in his family wants him. We are searching for a good home for him
An orphanage/foster home for 15ish kids had run out of food for a few days. I gave them some few chapatti and stew and $2.63 for more food. That night, a young girl named Brenda borrowed someone’s cell phone to call me to thank me for feeding her. How do you even describe what it feels like to receive that call. It seems so unjust that I should be thanked so much for doing so little.
We are visiting the homes of the kids @ Neema school in Tuwani slum. They are so thankful for us coming into their mud, 1 room apartments that they have offered us gifts of chickens, milk, and sugarcane. Some of them have gotten together to take a collection for us to thank us for helping their children (last we heard, they had collected up to $1.32). It is a greater gift than all the kings of the world could ever compile.

4-2-10 goodmorningamerica

2010-04-08T04:10:00.001-07:00

4-2-10
Fr
13:55

I had a really good morning thismorning. I went to Daniel’s compound and we read and talked about the Bible and other stuff. We confessed sin and prayed for eachother. I think that going home (america) this time will be a whole lot different than other times.
Jesus lives in Tuwani slum, but He also has an apartment in providence. It will be really good to hang out at His place when I get back. Today is good Friday.

3-30-10 idealistblasingleness

2010-04-08T04:09:00.002-07:00

3-30-10
Tu
23:03

Man, I can be really insensitive. My mind gets so caught up in idealist truths that I forget that just because something is true doesn’t mean that it isn’t heartbreaking or frightening. Pastor Peter received a death threat for him and his family last night. Job has also been threatened. Children are rejected by all of their family and extended relatives. children are deprived food by evil men. Others simply have no one to give them dinner (or lunch or breakfast). Wives are abandoned by husbands. Sons and daughters are abandoned by fathers.
I realize too, how much easier it is to be single than married. I want to be married. There have been times that I have felt very lonely. I don’t feel lonely now,but I find myself acting lonely (tempted to flirt with girls who I am not even romantically interested in, etc…). I struggle with lust too. I’m really frustrated by it and I am praying against it. I wish God would instantly take away the struggle, but I am praying and fighting against it. Anyway, it is so much easier to be single than married. For instance, I have nothing in life or death to fear. The worst someone can do to me is torture, humiliate, and kill me, and then I get to spend the rest of eternity enjoying the best place that God ever made (that I know of) (to make an incomplete understatement). Not bad eh?

3-29-10 divide

2010-04-08T04:09:00.001-07:00

3-29-10
Mo
21:44

-Divide in me the things that are from You from the things that are from me. Divide my desire for adventure from my desire to follow You anywhere. Divide my lack of consideration fro personal safety from the fearlessness that comes from knowing You and Your Love. Divide my trust in You from my pride. Divide my irresponsibility from my reckless abandon of myself to You. Divide the desires that You put in my heart from my natural desires. Divide my self pity from my broken heart from You. Divide my thoughts from Your thoughts. My ways from Your ways. Divide my Faith from my foolishness and lazyness. Divide my heart with Your double edged sword. -

3-28-10 ahh...

2010-04-08T04:08:00.002-07:00

3-28-10
Su
21:49

Ahh…I’ll write in the morning.

3-24-10 encouraged

2010-04-08T04:08:00.001-07:00

3-24-10
Wed
21:33

I am so encouraged by 2 things.
The moms or grandmas or dads of the kids who live in Tuwani slum are stepping up, taking up the challenge of caring for their kids, and they are challenging eachother. That’s sweet.
The 2nd thing that encourages me is that Bob and LuAnn aren’t possessive of the ministry or method that God has given them. They don’t see themselves or their ministry as superior. They aren’t exclusive or proud of their abilities.
God has really good plans.
That’s encouraging.

3-20-10 teamission

2010-04-08T04:07:00.000-07:00

3-20-10
Sat
14:09

LuAnn has strong Typhoid right now. I’m just with her and Bob in their room. We’re listening to music. Boy, this day didn’t go how I planned it (I guess it serves me right for planning it in the first place). I love Bob and LuAnn. They are real special to me. Faith is not success. Faith is knowing God. My thoughts seem so scattered because I am taking breaks for conversation between sentences. I am so comfortable and relaxed with Bob and LuAnn. They Love and accept me. I wish they would let me in Tuwani alone, but they say no cuz they care about me too. It is so good to be with people who you can just be yourself completely with. We all need Christ pretty badly. Boy, sometimes i take a moment to think and I just feel pretty stupid. I’m so glad that God likes stupid people too. If God didn’t choose the weak and foolish to do His work, we’d all be out of a job.
We never stop learning. You wana know what’s cool? What we are doing over here isn’t our mission or our project. It’s God’s. –Father, be with [your children]. You will not snuff out the fading ember. You will not break the bruised reed. Father, bring fire and healing and strength. In Jesus’ name.-
If everything we are working for collapses before our eyes, still God is God. His Love for the children and families is greater than we can imagine. His plan for them is greater than we can imagine.
These children are more precious than life itself. Abortion and glue sniffing and abuse make me so sad and helpless. –Father, protect Your children-

3-15-10B eyes

2010-04-08T04:06:00.004-07:00

3-15-10
Mon
15:59

-Father, I want to see Your eyes. I want to look into Your eyes. To see Your beauty in Your eyes. To see the Love in Your eyes. To see the sorrow in Your eyes. To see the pain in Your eyes. To see the Light and Joy in Your eyes. To see the jealousy in Your eyes. To see the anger in Your eyes. To see others and myself reflected in Your eyes.-
-Father, I want You to guide me with Your eye. To know You so intimately that you can speak to me with a glance, with a look. I want to see where Your eyes are looking. To see who You are looking at. Father, I want to be guided by Your eye.-

3-15-10A love eh

2010-04-08T04:06:00.003-07:00

3-15-10
Mon
15:44

“do you love Me?” “feed My lambs”
“do you love Me?” “tend my sheep”
“do you love Me?” “feed my sheep” (John :neartheend)
Every power every knowledge, and every wisdom is nothing without Love. Every gift and spiritual word and prayer is nothing without Love. Every work, every sacrifice, and every service is nothing without Love (1 cor 13)
All the law and prophets are from and for and complete in Love
-Father, teach me to Love. I love You.-

3-14ish-10 churchnotes

2010-04-08T04:06:00.001-07:00

3-14ish-10
Sun
11:73pm

The nice thing about journaling during church is that everybody just thinks that you are taking notes on the sermon (I wonder where that word came from). I am surrounded by children, they are playing with my journal securing rope, and rubbing or pulling the leg hair on my shins, and poking the veins on my feet. Wazungu re such curious (strange) people. I am tired (physically, mentally, spiritually). Yesterday I had 6 mandazi for breakfast and lunch combined. Yesterday I barely spent time with God. I am really excited to spend time with Jared praying together. I want to take communion w/Jared and Daniel. Bob has stage 2 malaria. He is really tired. God will heal him –Father, heal Bob. I’m asking this in the name of Jesus- oh, and Daniel Lipparelli turned 30 yesterday. He seems younger, but he has some wisdom that is beyond his age. –Please send Daniel a woman who is after You. Bless and teach Daniel this year. Give him peace. Let him hear Your voice clearly-
It was really good to hang out with Amanda (Goble) over the last couple of days. It is cool the way that God has brought healing and reconciliation. Real cool. God has built friendships that blow my mind. –by the way God, thank You so so much for what You have been doing in Aly’s life. Give her strength beyond what she has ever experienced. Give her the desires of hear heart. Thank You so much for her friendship- ohwt, the church service is over.
God has been giving me the Vision for mentoring some of the street kids and other kids. Mentoring sounds like a goofy word for what I am talking about. I just want to share with and join with my young friends, and kids who I care about. I don’t feel equipped or sufficient, but if I follow God’s leading He will fill my lack. If I don’t follow His leading, I am only dehydrating my already dry vitality.

3-5-10 busrevelations

2010-04-08T04:04:00.000-07:00

3-5-10
Fri
21:10

So, the adventures and conversations have been sweet. Between the last 2 days we have been traveling by bus for close to 24 hours through Tanzenia. You know what? After long, bumpy bus rides that start early in the morning, wazungu, wafrika, missionaries, Muslims, Masii tribesmen, Chinese, Catholics, and scholars all look pretty much the same. We are all just human. In times of clarity like that, it makes fearing man or hightly esteeming man look pretty silly.
It is really good being with Jared. Iron sharpens iron. I get dull really fast when i’m not challenged. Sharpening comes through friction, not through smooth resistanceless contact. Sharpening comes through direct contact.
I’m tired (physically)

3-3-10 adventure

2010-04-08T04:02:00.000-07:00

3-3-10
Wed
12:12

I like adventures…alot. Right now I am sitting by a busy road in Mwanza, Tanzenia. Delux hotel was cheap and worked for a good place to stay, but they must have looked up “delux” in a different dictionary than mine. Their dictionary said this: Delux: an accomidation with no lights on the third floor (the floor where room 17 is), there is paint coming off the walls, the bathroom has no toilet sat, the toilet leaks alot (fortunately only the clean water), the sink drain has no pipe, so the water just pours onto the floor, but this is OK (aside from having to stand back from the sink to keep your feet dry), because the bathroom floor has a drain in the corner, which works out nicely because the bathroom floor is also the shower floor (which is also kinda dirty), (and there is nothing like a good cold shower to refresh you). The bathroomdoor doesn’t have a handle, so you have to practically kick in the door to open it. The room door, however, did have a handle, and after spinning it in circles and applying just the right pressure, you can open it in 2-5 minutes. (although, I can’t imagine why anyone would want to ever open the door to leave such a fine, stylish accomidation.)
P.S. remind me to tell you about Jared and adventures and such

2-28-10 beautyevilandGod

2010-03-03T00:43:00.001-08:00

2-28-10
Sunday
10:42ish

I am sitting in church @ graceway right now. Beside and around me are Eddah, Rhema, Cecelia, and Jenelle. They are so very beautiful. We have just finished singpraising God. It is mystifying how such drasticly different one day can be from another. One morning from the evening. One hour from the next. One moment to the next. These undescribably beautiful girls near me had yesterday been victims of the influence of a greatly deceived and greatly deceitful man. They are so sadden that they were influenced by this man. I and Bob and LuAnn Love these girls so very much. Here in Kitale, there is so much innocence, so much guilt, so much genuine honesty, so many lies, so much faith, so much corruption, so much love, so much abuse, and so much more. Thereis so much joy to see the innocence, the faith, the Love, the good. There is no hurt and sadness like the one that comes when the evil touches the lovely. The theft by robbers who steal from those who walk on the Way. The murder of those who Live the Life. the destruction of those who know the Truth. Satan speaks lies. ~PAUSE~> God turns all things to bring those who Love Him to Himself, to peace, to eternal Joy. He is really really strong and powerful, He has excellent hearing and eyesight, He is huge yet He is intimately everywhere at the same time, He sees the future more clearly than the most enlightened man sees the present, He is unreasonably smart and has a genius talent for planning, He knows the hidden hearts of men and women, He is perfectly wise, and furthermore… He is on the side of whoever chooses His side, and He Loves us more completely and unconditionally than we can think or imagine. He Loves us! ~UNPAUSE~> the corruption seems to have no holds barred. So many schemes rob so many children of gifts intended for them by the benevolent. They hurt the innocent and those seeking Truth. They bribe police, judges, and officials. They hire mobs, they draw their victims in through pity for children, they are “pastors”, they constantly insult and slander the Name of the Lord by identifying themselves as followers of Him. They constantly like to and steal from the church. They are running toward the vengeance of God at break neck speed. They are sprinting to Hell. –Lord, You have held back Your justice for a very long time…for Your glory and for the sakes of those who You Love, let Your Judgments be manifested.-

2-26-10B doors

2010-03-03T00:42:00.000-08:00

2-26-10
Friday
13:50

God has really good plans. He has opened every door that He had already put on my heart to walk through. Every one. Some of the doors have my fears as welcome mats. I can see that the only way I will be following God and have peace is to wipe my feet on my fears and walk forward. He will protect, guide, strengthen, and provide.

2-26-10A walkwithhelen

2010-03-03T00:38:00.000-08:00

2-26-10
Friday
13:30

I had just been walking with Helen. She said she lives in Kitale because it is where God planted her. She doesn’t see the sense in moving to a place where business is better, because the same God who is providing there will provide here. She says that when God guides you to follow Him somewhere else, follow Him. But be sure that it is Him in front of you and not you in front of Him. She also talked about the importance of greeting strangers, friends, and neighbors.

2-25-10B P.S.ish

2010-03-03T00:37:00.002-08:00

2-25-10
Thursday
23:21
Remind me to tell you about the depths of corruption and the crazy faithfulness of God. And by the way, Psalm 32 is sweet from beginning to end.
P.S. yesterday I was called rasta man, was asked if I smoked ganja, and a guy told me he wanted me to be his dog (which I finally figured out, he meant to be his best friend…I don’t think he quite grasped the point of a dog being man’s best friend),
Today, I passed a group of kids who said “hey Osama”, then, less than 120 seconds later I passed another group of kids who said “hey Jesus”… having a beard makes for some interesting comparisons. (however, mama Magdalene says she would prefer if only my heart looked like Jesus).

2-25-10A magdalene

2010-03-03T00:37:00.001-08:00

2-25-10
Thursday
22:35

As you walk through the clothes market, you see on all sides, crudely built stands with a platform for the women to sit surrounded boy their selection of second hand t-shirts, belts, jeans, coats, dresses, and every other type of cloth or clothing. Under their reused plastic sheet roofs, which protect them from rain and sun, the women are all eagerly awaiting for someone to show interest in their merchandise. They call the mazungus over to talk and buy and barter prices. Amongst the chaotic colors and shapes and sizes and calls and crooked paths between crooked stands on uneven ground, there is a woman who I simply cal “mama”. The first time I met her I promised I would cut my beard short. The second time, I cut off the rough, boxtie rope necklace that I like(d) so much. Why did I do these things? Because I can not refuse such strong requests made out of such strong Love. This mama makes enough money everyday to live in poverty. She thanks and praises God for that. She looks after the men and young men who work near her. She is a mom to them. Her joy and love for God and her ministry and service and seeking of God is not hindered in the least by her circumstances. She loves me like her son, only because the Love of Jesus burns in her heart and makes her glow. She had me read Isaiah 35 aloud, because it had encouraged her so much when she read it that morning. So sweet! She prayed for Jared and I. such a fervent and powerful prayer. She lives in perpetual, constraining poverty, yet she is one of the richest and freest people I know.
She has Life to the fullest (John 10:10). Even in her lacking, she has a continual feast (prov 15:15). (prov 13:7). Her name is Magdalene.

2-21-10 chrchnotes

2010-03-03T00:36:00.000-08:00

2-21-10
Sunday
12:05

The pastor (Peter) just said “it is hard for us to give up being good men, to live a life of faith.” You know what? It’s true
Now he said “what is opened can be closed, but what is broken can not have its outpouring flow controlled.” “treasure in earthen vessels” “blessed are the broken” “the woman who anointed Jesus did not open the perfume. If she did, she could have just poured what she wanted and saved what she wanted. She broke the alabaster box.” When broken, there can be no reservations, no turning back. The flow can not be controlled. –Father, break me…break my heart, break my mind, break my soul, break my strength. Please break me-

2-18-10 toLive

2010-03-03T00:35:00.002-08:00

2-18-10
Thursday
20:54

-Lord, guide my words and steps. Empty my heart of fear, and draw it with passion-
To talk to strangers. To eat regularly with friends. To pray with friends. To pray with family. To pray with strangers (strangers in church. Strangers out of church). To eat with strangers (in and out of church). To talk with God alot. To talk of God alot. To talk with people who I feel least comfortable talking to. To talk of the Word of God. To read the Word with people. To memorize the Word with people. To talk of Jesus. To talk of the Blood of Jesus. To take and have communion. To help people carry groceries. To pull over to help ppl whose cars are having trouble. To talk to people with or without homes. To seriously ask how people are doing. To seriously tell people how I am doing. To count nothing I possess as my own (not even my life or body). To give freely to those who lack. To openly share with institutional or organized churches the things that God is calling me to do. To invite others to join me. To invite others to lead me. To support the visions of those who are drawn and convicted to movement by God. To invite accountability. To invite exhortation. To invite rebukes, instructions, warnings, disciplines, corrections. To Love god with everything I have. To Love people as Jesus does. To give my 2 mites to God. To feed my enemies. To boldly stand against bondages…
These are some of the things that God has put on my heart. These are things my fears stand in the way of; like a wall of flames. (Isaiah 43:2).

2-18-10 monkroom

2010-03-03T00:35:00.001-08:00

2-18-10
Thursday
6:46

-God, thank You for this room. It’s just right- my room (which used to be Caleb’s when he was here) is like the quarters of a monk in a monastery. It is small, simple, comfortableish, undestracting. I could live in this room (or one like it) for the rest of my life, happily (uhh… not meaning that I wouldn’t leave my room…you know what I mean) it is so good to have a place to be able to be alone and focus.

2-17-10 ow

2010-03-03T00:34:00.002-08:00

2-17-10
Wednesday
15:57

So… it seems that either God has to knock sence into me to get me to hear, or He graciously forsees my clumsiness and He works the situation to ease my troubles, or I either have really good or bad timing w/ my clumsiness. I was going to meet w/ Daniel to visit the kipsongo orphanage. Daniel and I were both fre at 2:30pm to meet up. @2:ish I crouched down to talk with some kids @ the graceway school, and when I stood up…wamo! I hit my head on the corner of a low roof beam. So the reslt is that we couldn’t go to the orphanage today, but Daniel was free to hang out w/ me @ the hospital. Good timing? Bad timing? God? Coincidence? Why is the sad sabu sad? I don’t really think I need to know. If it’s out of my hands it’s in God’s hands anyway.
In the end I got to see the barber and the seamstress (the doc shaved some of my hair [it felt like he used a dull pocket knife to shave the area. It hurt worse than the injury.] and gave me 4 stitches). I also got a deep shot in the arm for Tetnis, and a few shots in the head to numb for the stitches. Well, that was a little adventure… Ha, I was just looking at the medicine they gave me, and one of them is just loose white tablets in a small brown paper bag (this is Kenya). The bag has “2x3” penned on it, I think that means 2 tablets 3 times a day.

2-14-10B p.p.p.s.

2010-03-03T00:34:00.001-08:00

2-14-10
Sunday
17:57

P.S. it is hard to tell what is true and what is not in Kenya (I’ll explain later)

P.P.S. we did some great clinics + one on Mt. Elgon (I’ll expound later)

P.P.P.S. Benja called me a “funny mazungu”, and Pastor Peter told his church that I was a “different kind” of missionary.
Ha, both made me laugh.

2-14-10A fearislikemalaria

2010-03-03T00:27:00.000-08:00

2-14-10
Sunday
16:17

Eiee, where to start? Uh…well the orphanage is doing alright (besides not having /= to pay the water bill).
Fear is like Malaria: it makes you stay up the first half of the night with a bad stomache ache, it keeps you up the rest of the night kneeling over a smelly pit latrine puking out every last ounce of fluid and solid that is in your stomache, then, when you drink water to rehidrate yourself, it makes you puke that up to, then it makes you dry heave (attempt to puke when your stomache I already empty), then it keeps you in bed for the entire next day, with nausea and a head ache, and a terrible back ache (possibly brought on by the preceding night’s puking)…so, fear isn’tlike Maleria in those ways so much. But malaria was like that. But, a bunch of people prayed for me (including Hellen, who also gave me flowers. [did I mention that God has given her the gift of timing?]…if she was younger…). And the day after, I was running around playing Futbol. The day after that, I took medicine for Malaria.
Fear is like malaria: it is a parasite. Sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don’t. the longer you ignore it, the harder it is to get rid of it. If the symptoms alone are treated, it often kills you (spiritually). It makes it hard for you to think straight. Even after it is confronted and treated, it can live inside of you. Only God can completely get it out of your blood!
God wants to confront our fear, and heal us from it. He wants us to be whole. He wants us to know perfect Love (incoming + outgoing). The Love of God is deeper, longer, higher, and wider than the claws of any fear can reach. (Ephesians 3). No realization of the worst fear or failure coming true can separate us from the Love of God (Rom 8:31-39). God wants us to be free of fear (2 tim 1:7). Knowing, believing, embracing, receiving, and giving God’s Love leaves no room in us for Fear (1 john 4:18-19). We have no reason to fear, because God has already redeemed us. He made us, He redeemed us, He calls us, He knows us personally and intimately, He has made us His own and adopted us, He is with us in impossible trials and opposition, He protects us from overwhelming forces, He guards us from even imminent destruction or failure, He completely cares for us, and He is realy really powerful and smart, and on top of all that, He even knows the future, so… “Fear Not”. (Isaiah 43:1-3). I have had fear about being a bad chioice on God’s part to teach Benja and Peter about God, the Word, the Way, the Truth, the Life, the Law, the Love, Christ’s Blood, and the Holy Spirit.
My good friend Daniel Lipparelli (whose name I may have spelled wrong) said (something like) “if God opened the door for you to teach them, then they don’t need a better teacher, or a better communicator, right now they need a Timo” (God knows what we need, so if He uses you to meet a need, He does so for a reason. He equips us as we Follow Him.) sweet eh?

2-9-10no pen

2010-02-10T02:16:00.000-08:00

2-9-10
tuesday
20:33

i still don't have a working pen.
it seems like God is still confronting me with my fears.

2-4-10C...

2010-02-10T01:59:00.000-08:00

2-4-10
Thursay
20:36

Benja just called me to tell me that his home/orphanage is completely out of food, and they didn’t eat today. Uhh…you could say...

(at this point in my writing, my pen died, I couldn’t manage to find another working one, and then I got Malaria, and a bunch of other stuff happened too).

2-4-10B oddgiftsbeautifultrying

2010-02-10T01:58:00.000-08:00

2-4-10
Thursday
15:26
B

So, Benja had asked me to bing a Bible fro America for him. Earlier this week, I gave im and Peter the tow extra Bible I brought. When I did, nancy (the young orphanage mom) suggested that Peter and Benja share a Bible, so she could have the other. (it hadn’t occurred to me that she didn’t have one either.) LuAnn offered extra Bibles that Africa Connect brought to give away, so I have two Bibles to Nancy (one for her and one for the older kids at the home)… what a sweet gift it is that God let me be a part of getting Bibles to them!
You want to know what is beautiful? Little Esther has a great smile, and she holds my hand and she is getting food everyday and she is in baby class in preschool at Graceway/NEK/Neema (I can never get the name straight) (Esther almost died of malnutrition 2 years ago. Eva Joy and Caleb brought her to the hospital and saved her life) She is Beautiful.
So… last night, I fell asleep (…but wait there’s more), I woke up with a sore throat @ about 1:30AM, turned on a light, found a mosquito trapped IN my mosquito net, couldn’t seem to get rid of her or keep sight of her in the light (and my tiredness), gave up trying after a while, went outside to sue the “long drop” (deep pit toilet), noticed a giant (about 5 in leg span) spider at eye level (seemingly guarding the door), figured the “long drop” could wait till morning, went back inside, got in a different bed (with a different mosquito net)(this one without any malaria carrying mosquitos trapped inside), was exausted, couldn’t fall asleep, was really exhausted, really couldn’t fall asleep, finally fell asleep, woke up feeling refreshed and well rested, had some sweet time hanging out with God, had chai, chapatti, and gatheri for breakfast in town…that night was a tad trying though

2-4-10oddgiftsbeautifultrying

2010-02-10T01:57:00.000-08:00

2-4-10
Thursday
15:26

Some things strike me odd, some as gifts, some as incredibly beautiful, some as trying. –Padre, sometimes You give me really annoying and trying times. There is probably a reason for this. Help me to look and pray for the reasons. Help me to learn them. I’m not doing extremely good on my own-
The odd: as I was walking home from town the other day, I ended up meeting the night watchman for a friend’s compound. As we talked, I asked him… (hmm I might be a little ADD, cuz I just got distracted and had fun projecting my beard’s shadow on the wall for the last minute or 2 [there is a heavy rain right now, and the electricity has been out ofr a while {oh, wait, it just turned back on} so I have been writing by flashlight])…(and now, I just had an extended pretend sword fight using my cane… maybe a little ADD)… about his family. He told me how many children he had, then he told me how many wives he had. That struck me odd. He only had 2 wives (I hear 3 is pretty common). I told him that I had 0 wives, and I was going to make a joke about him sharing, and giving me one of his, but I decided against it. He might not have thought it was as funny as I did.
By the way, do yo know what sound makes me feel a little happy? About 50-100 preschoolers chanting “Yetu Timo” (or something like that [“our Timo”]) while surrounding me and holding on to any square inch of arm that they can reach. That’s not bad. I don’t in anyway deserve it, but I am happy to receive it. (owht, no more electricity again) (ah, electricity is back)

1-31-10B the orphanage

2010-02-10T01:56:00.001-08:00

1-31-10
Sunday
21:27

Futbol is just so much more fun to watch over here Egypt just beat Ghana in the Africa Cup Of Nations. Sweet game, intense. A couple of minutes after it ended Nancy calls me and just says “did you see the ball?” we both laughed as I said yes. Nothing more needed to be said. Who is Nancy you ask? (you know, I find that I am writing my journals while considering that I will be sending them as e-mails. I’m gunna try to stop) nancy is Evelin’s dauter (in her 20’s I’m pretty sure) (daughter d.a.u.. … wow I spell good) Evelin was the mom of the orphanage in Kipsongo that Benja and Peter sleep/stay. Evelin passed away I think about a year ago. Her last words to Nancy were “take care of the children” (as accurately as I remember what Nancy told me). Because of some reason or another, the little assistance of money support they were getting from America moved to another orphanage. So now, Nancy is working 6 days a week (long days) for not-much an hour. (thank God for her having a job) and tries to support, feed, clothe, care for medically, and council 13 children (7 girls, 6 boys [I think]) (a few are older [15ish + one that is 18], but most are very young). God has sustained them this last year, but the kids need food and clothing. I have 2 coats, they have none {Luke 3:11}. The other needs for the kids are school fees and counseling/teaching about God. Nancy had asked me if sometimes maybe I could come even just to talk to the kids and counsel/teach them (they don’t have parents that can do this, and Nanyc comes home tired from a ling workday and just wants to sleep sometimes.) oh, yeah, and the boys could use a matreess or so (the 6 boys are sleeping in 1 very small room, on the floor, with only 1 thin, bad condition foam mattress. I have 2 coats, they have none

1-31-10prayer eh?

2010-02-10T01:54:00.000-08:00

1-31-10
Sunday
15:46

Prayer eh? I was just talking with a man who is in the process of moving to Kitale. He had been here before, but God told him to return home until he learned to pray. I don’t really completely now what that means, but I want to. Yesterday, I visited Jeff and Carla’s baby home/orphanage. Amazing! The miracles God has done, the prayers he has answered. God has a heart for the children. He takes care of the needs of those who are caring for the ones He loves (which is everybody) (but I thin God really likes kids.) right now, I am just waiting for Peter or Benja (street kids) to bring me to there orphanage.

1-29-10schooljailGod

2010-02-10T01:53:00.000-08:00

1-29-10
Friday
21:08

-Good Lord, hahaa! You make me laugh; both because of Your sence of humor and because you fill me with joy.- Eiee, so much is happening so fast. There are many changes at the school. Some exciting, and some good, but sad, and some I don’t know. We went to the school today. Wow those kids!... so beautiful, and so happy and excited to see us. I was amazed at how many of the ids remembered my name. every time I heard “Timo” (tEE-mO’) my heart was refilled with happy, content excitement again and again. To see Faith, little Faith, little Esther, so many others. Over the last 2 years, some of them have grown so much that I’m not sure at first if they are who I thin they are. So good to see Susan, Isabel, Gladys, and the rest. I walked away from the school already looking forward to coming back to it again.
So… even as I have been writing this journal entry after my prayer, I have been waiting to write this: after I left the school with Caleb, I met Peter (the kid) in town. We went together to the other jail in town. When we asked about him, we were told that he went to the court that morning. We went to the court, and they said that he was going to be set free after they finished the paperwork at the end of the day. We were directed to where we could see him in his cell in the courthouse. Man, it was good to see him. He was so happy to see me, even on the other side of the cell door. So…as I was waling away with Peter, I told him about my desire to spend time with the two of them, teaching and learning about God and His Word and His Love and His Law. Peter just says “a Bible study? We could meet every week.” He said “this is a very good idea” and later he added “we could meet on Mondays and wednesdays” Holy ngombe (cow)! Wow! Sweet! You want to now another crazy thing? Bob had talked to pastor Peter about the street kids, and Peter said the best thing is to meet regularly with them to talk with them about God and the Word, cuz if you just befriend them and feed them, they will still end up in the same place as they would otherwise. Coincident?...sure.

1-28-10answers

2010-02-10T01:52:00.000-08:00

1-28-10
Thur
22:41

I saw Kefa, his wife , and his 5 month old baby boy today (their first baby had gotten sick while I was in Kenya 2 years ago, and died soon after I had left). Kefa said that God had blessed them and wiped away their tears. –Father, when I am in pain, I want to never question Your love for me , and never diminish my love for You. Build and grow me into such a man-
-Lord, keep Benja’s body and heart from harm- One of the things I had a heart to do here is to mentor and teach some of the street kids about truly following Christ and understanding God’s heart and law. I especially had Benja in mind. I was so looking forward to seeing and hugging him. Today, I saw Peter the street kid (Benja’s best friend). Peter told me that Benja (who is 17 I think) has been in jail for a week because a corrupt pastor falsely accursed Benja of threatening him. The only thin I know for sure is that Benja is in jail because of a problem with a pastor. I went to the jail, and after they looked for him several times, they told me he was at a different jail in Kitale. I will try to visit him there tomorrow.
Before I came to Kenya, I prayed that Benja and another man who I love would be put through hard times if that’s what it would take to make their hearts softened enough to grasp for God alone. I didn’t expect to find that both were answered on my first day here. Now is the hard and sad time. I pray that God brings True Full Life out of what now looks only like death –Lord, not for nothing, but it would be nice if You answered some of my prayers in more cheerful ways. I truly thank You for Your answers, but these last couple of weeks have been a little on the rough side. Than You though, cuz I know that You have way better plans than I do-

1-27-10arrival

2010-02-10T01:40:00.001-08:00

1-27-10
Wed
21:26 (Kenya time)

“The Lord has bared His holy arm in the sight of all the nations; and the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God (isiah 52:7-10)” {Psalm 18 + 1 Kings 8:27-53 + 1 Kings 9:3 + 1 Cor 3:16} when I arrived in Kitale this afternoon I felt the deep happiness and excitement of returning home. At every street and building, I wanted to tell stories of my memories that happened in and on and around them. I am so excited to see my brother Jared tomorrow! I’m staying with the team (Caleb, Sue Cochette [I should find out how to spell her name], Cindy Love, Bob, and LuAnn) at Karibuni Lodge. I was almost overwhelmed with how nice it is here (by Kenyan standards)(Beautiful too), but I soon felt much more comfortable when all the electricity in the area whent out. My peace and joy were completed wheni was welcomed and embraced by Bob and LuAnn (when LuAnn huggs me she squeses out any doubts or concerns that may be playing in mind at the time.) Then, my peace and Joy were overfilled when Hellen, the flower lady, showed up at the door. She somehow seems even younger than she was 2 years ago. Her smile! The beauty of her smile is more true and constant than the beauty of the roses we bought from her (aa makes shift vase of which are besideme now). She said, someone who does not forgive is someone who has forgotten what Jesus did for them (Mat 18:23-35). I thin that it is only the Love of God that makes her smile. Pastor Peter and Sarah ate with us tonight. It usually inspires me to shut my mouth when Peter or Bob are sharing wisdom or vision. Como se dice sweet!

praise,blessing,tears

2009-03-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

let my praise crash like never ceasing, unrelenting waves on the beach of Your Heart.

i have been blessed beyond the farthest reaches of the widespread wings of my imagination.

my heart longs for tears, but my stubborn and reasonable mind keeps my eyes dry.
but still my heart cries for tears.
tears of joy, for the life breathed through the brittle shell of a soul i was
and joy of pure and deep communion with my Master and Lover,
and my Love molded family with my Loving Lord and God as our Father
for my future being as far and contrary from and to my past as the east is from the west.
my heart cries for tears
tears of pain or desperation
of remorse due to the sins that from callouses on my heart and build barriers that hold me back from Your strong arms of Love
pain from You Heart at the sight of those who you love, dying more every day.

MAY I SHED TEARS OF LOVE

If we...hmm...

2009-03-06T13:29:00.000-08:00

- if we follow Christ we will be hated by the world
+ why?
= we stand in the face of the natural and the understood
= we represent a decision that MUST be made
= we show the necessity of surrender as the prerequisite to Life
+ hmm....

Love and rock...

2009-03-06T13:28:00.000-08:00

...refuse to sit still
...move and vibrate the recipients

Ecclesiastes beggs the question

2009-02-27T12:40:00.001-08:00

all your efforts, energies, and achievements
burn in the furnace of life and eternity until only
Love and the Grace of a Savior remain.

based on this, where should we direct our efforts and energies?
and what achievements should we strive for?

remember well...your only hope

2009-02-27T12:27:00.000-08:00

life runs a thousand footsteps every moment and holds a thousand moments in every footstep.
life expands your heart until it proposes to break through the mere flesh in which it resides.
life wraps itself so tightly around your heart that its contents are breathed from your lips and fingertips.

when life does compress your heart, and when your heart's contents are spilled out through you very soul and being, when they are spilled onto the sidewalks of the world, when it is emptied of every thing it clung to for dear life (and sometimes not so dear),...
when you have reached this place, gaze into your emptied heart, and remember well what you see there. for that which refused to be moved and refused o abandon your heart when all else passed on to desolation...that which is there is your only hope...
take hold of it, run after it, with every ounce of strength you have, pursue it...
i looked into my emptied heart, and saw Jesus standing alone...i must pursue Him with all my love, all my heart, all my mind, all my soul, and all my strength.

prayer for how?

2009-02-27T12:22:00.000-08:00

Lord, i am on Your side...and You are on mine.
but in this battle, how should i fight?
in this Romance, how should i display my Love?
should i advance with all my strength?
or should i forsake my strength and seek only to rest on Your might and omniscience?
or is there something between?
where is the balance that must be met?
or should the balance be ignored because it defers my attention and focus from what true Life, and Living, and Truth, and Reality all have at their heart?

a prayer.

2009-01-28T13:40:00.000-08:00

Lord, give me the strength to stand for You.
Show me where to stand, where to face, where to run, what to hold dear, what to let go.
in my interactions with the ones You Love, may i only speak, move, and touch with Your Truth and Love.

sacrifice of praise

2009-01-28T13:27:00.000-08:00

sacrifice or praise.
where is the sacrifice?
words and tune slide effortlessly from my tongue.
my arms are light, raising them cause me no strain.
even when the music fades, i am not burdened by the acknowledgment of Your goodness, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, grace, power, and Love.
the sacrifice then is not on the surface of any of these, but at a deeper piercing level of true praise.
the sacrifice of humility.

semi connected thoughts

2009-01-28T13:02:00.000-08:00

boredom with the eternal. to limit the Limitless.

what is life? what is Christianity?
what are/is the goal(s) i am persuing? do/does the goal(s) exist?
what is/are the perfect goal(s)?

to be lost to ourselves is to be found by the Light.
---deliver me from my clutches.
deliver me from my fallacies of irrelevancies.
deliver me from the thought that Life has an end or is yet to begin. ---

well...this is not a clip board writing

2009-01-19T11:43:00.000-08:00

i feel stupid writing right now, so i will stop. i need to pray. i just cried because i miss Kenya.

blind

2009-01-17T08:01:00.000-08:00

make me as blind as Your servant

may the obvious things of the world be as Foolish to me as smog to a blind man.

(the foolish smog of raceizm and perversion and stony vengance and and any addiction besides Christ's Love... may i have less understanding of these than i do now.)

beyond song and dance

2009-01-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

let worship come not only from your lips, but also from your fingertips and the soles of your feet.

Your love can not be contained in the most Joyful scream nor the freeist of dance, but in the hug of a child, a hand to the hurting, forgiving a friend, or an enemy, a fire in the dark, truth released...

love and the heart (scattered writings)

2009-01-17T07:40:00.000-08:00

you only Believe the parts of the Bible that you live by.
Love has momentum
if what you call "love" doesn't have momentum, please call it something else.

i pray for Your doors to open before me, and my eyes to open to the doors, and my heart to open to the momentum of Your Love, and my mouth to be open to outpour the overflow of my heart.

the heart is the vessel which at different times can hold the height of deceit and wickedness and the depth of Pure Love, Faith, Hope, and Joy

the first (maybe)

2009-01-17T07:14:00.000-08:00

open the eyes of my heart
open my eyes to Your heart
show me Life through Your eyes
overwhelm and Break my heart with Your Love and tears
like the roots of a tree split a boulder, may Your Heart undo my reservations.

right then...we'll see how this goes

2009-01-17T06:18:00.000-08:00

alright then, this is not a real post (or whatever you want to call it).
, but i am thinking of typing out some or all of my clipboard writings, and putting them on here. i can't guarentee that i will stick to it or if i will find a better way to put them on the internet, but i'm gunna give it a try. and i think i will start from the beginning of my clipboard archive and work up to the present, but i might throw in some really recent ones too and just designate them as recent writings or something. well, that's all the babbling i have for now. i wonder if anyone will ever read this message. well, even if you don't read this, i think it will be good for me to go back and reread and rewrite the clipboard writings. until later (which is always the case), audios.

03-11-08 never alone

2008-03-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

03-11-08
Tue
14:04

Recently, I wasn’t killing time, I was torturing it to death. I felt useless, missing so many people, and helpless.
Jesus gave me new Life.
He obliterated my past life.
He erased the long list of sins that had condemned me.
Erased by His Love.
Erased with His blood.
God’s blessings to me are unfathomable.
I just got off the phone with a friend who called just to encourage me.
God is right by my side.

Heh, my friend said something that I like. He said something to the effect of, “the only bad think about hell on earth is that it’s hell. The only good thing about hell on earth is that God is right by your side”
I’m not going through hell on earth, but the reminder reaches the place I am standing now.

03-03-08 looking back forward

2008-03-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

03-03-08
Mon
13:49

I miss Kenya, Kitale, Tuwani, Evalyn’s orphanage, Benja, Wycliffe, Daniel, Susan, little Jenelle, Esther, Faith, Jen, Nipha, Lawrence, Beatrice, Peter, Alex, Meredith, Amanda, Jared, Kate, Wasoro, Emanuel, Nic, Judith, Daniel, Damascus, Keffa, Peter, Isabella, Duncan, Faith, Evans, Cecilia, Brenda,… I can see so many more faces that I miss… the children. Last night, I almost cried while Aly spoke and pictures showed of the children. We were blessed beyond what we could imagine. It feels like those months were the most beautiful dream I have ever had, only it seems that I am sleeping now, and I am trying to wake up so I can see my heart’s home in Kitale once again.
My Father is everfaithful and everwithme.
Hebrews 11:13-16

written 03-02-08 God's will for my life

2008-03-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

written 03-02-08
Sun
20:30ish

i have said to my Lord, “here I am, I am Yours”, “take me, mold me”, “tell me where to go, I’ll go”, “tell me what to do, I’ll do it”, “I am not my own, I am Yours”, “purge me, grow me”, “how can I serve You”, “how can I Love You”,…I waited for His boomin, thundering voice to send me to Kenya with the alone, or the streets with the homeless, or the dark alleys with the dangerous. This response never came.
Instead I heard a quietly firm reply, “honor your dad and mom, and love your brothers”…
… I almost answered “that’s it?”, but before I could, I began to fully know the magnitude of His command. I now know God’s will for my life, and I don’t have the slightest doubt that He will show me the next direction at the right time.
He has given me a desire to go to Kenya, the streets, and the alleys and dark places. He will open the doors that are right at the time that is right.
When I stop surrendering and sacrificing myself, even for a moment, I am sticking my fingers in my ears while God is talking. The greatest things aren’t always the most impressive. These sentences are so incomplete. I could write for hours.

02-01-08 maybe that's why we always wear our hats

2008-01-31T15:22:00.000-08:00

02-01-08
Fri
00:23

“Maybe that’s why we always wear our hats”.
Tevye said this when he was given 3 days to pack his things and leave his home. Well, I have three days to pack my things and leave Kenya.
Bob and LuAnn shared their hearts with me, and they want me there, and they believe God wants me there. So…they told me tonight, and tonight my dad booked my ticket for leaving Monday with Aly and Amanda. I would nbe a pitiful mess right now if I wasn’t completely sure that this was God’s will. Unlike Tevye, I am leaving for the ones I love. God has taught me so much , an dnone of the lessons are stuck in Kenya. They are for every day of all my days.
I was looking into extending my stay beyond March 5th, but God gives me 3 days. Again, He does things opposite of what I expect. Although, now I understand why there are so few pages left in this journal. –Lord, encourage and strengthen the heart of Daniel while he is alone for this time-

01-30-08 wow

2008-01-31T15:07:00.000-08:00

01-30-08
Wed
03:09

Well, I am up @3:AM cuz I want to call my family who are living life in the past (8 hours ago to be exact). And I have been e-mailing these journals to people back in the U.S., so I want to keep my journals relatively up to date.
Anyway…let me explain, no its too long, let me sum up… Jared and Meredith returned to Canada (they are both good friends who I have been living with). Amanda and Aly have booked their tickets to head home on Monday. But wait there’s more…
On Sunday I was hanging out with Wycliffe as he was visiting some people in the hospital and running back and forth buying medicine, etc… he was telling me that that is what shepherds do: run around helping sheep when they are in the hospital, etc… he also added that that past night (Saturday nigh) @ about 11:pm, between 100-200 Kikuyu (a tribe) men banged on his door, and questioned him and told him to arm himself and join them. He overheard them saying that if he resisted, they could kill him as an example, and so they would be taken more seriously. So, while they were taking him, Wycliffe of course prayed for them, and told them that they were like the Israelites, having enemies and oppressors all around, but that they needed to trust the Lord for justice, not the machetes and guns that they were carrying. (P.S. of the whole group, Wycliffe was the only one who wasn’t Kikuyu, and the Kikuyus were all wearing masks as to not be recognized)… so, one of the group proposed that Wycliffe’s words were good enough, so they should let him return home. So they released him @ about 2:am (3 hrs later).
That was a very summarized retelling of the story, but I’m not quite finished yet. –please protect Wycliffe and his entire family from any harm or evil. Your strength is greater; spare none of it-
Wycliffe’s response to this all was to join with his wife, Susan, and praise and thank God for sparing his life. He told me that because God gave his life back to him, and extended his time on earth, he sees clearly that he must work to help people, even more than before. He quoted Ecclesiastes, saying that there is no more work after death, so do it with all your might now Ecclesiastes 9:10. God has given us life now, so we shouldn’t worry about anything else. Use our lives now. We all will die, so let us use our short time to love and help. What could be a sweeter way to spend the rest of our minutes?
Praise God! (I have been learning more and more about praising Him… what question, answer, problem, solution, confusion, clarity, plan, vexation, trial, oppression, blessing, rest, relief, or freedom can be responded to in a better way than praising God? Beyond that, He is really good at handling the rest.)
In summary… praise God, and Wycliffe is more of a man than William Wallace.
I’m gunna try to call my parents again, cuz it’s 4:10 am.

01-29-08 Life eh?

2008-01-31T15:04:00.000-08:00

01-29-08
Tue
15:40

Where to begin? I think that most of the time we live as if we don’t believe in Life, and we work as if we don’t believe in death…”an hour and 47 min. later”…Ah, praise God. He is always doing what I least expect. Animals have nests, hives, and holes, but Jesus doesn’t rest His head in one spot. He is not predictable or consistent, so how can those who follow Him expect to live steady, regular, comfortable, consistent lives?
Mat 8:18-22

01-23-08 me and Aly and the Israelites and Aly and I

2008-01-24T03:53:00.000-08:00

01-23-08
Wed
18:44

Holy amazing cow! God has been blessing us so frequently that I hardly have a chance to recover from the previous before we are bestowed with the next. He has been giving me exciting and adventurous days, filled with quality time with friends, hanging out with kids, walking and talking with a crazy Kenyan who thinks he is in the Israeli armed forces and that his father bought him every house and shop on the street (he also asked me for ten /= (shillings) and then demanded that I give him 1 million /=), and talking with a deaf lady living in Tuwani, and other such sweet things.
God has been working out all our needs and tasks in beautiful ways. He provides based on his endless resources and His perfect timing.
After all of this, when a new struggle comes my way, I am tempted to say “have you brought us out of Egypt, through the Red Sea, so we would starve to death in the wilderness?” How stupid I can be when I fear the stormy waves, and forget the Love and Wisdom and Power of the Maker of the waves.
And he forgives again and sends quail and manna.

01-22-08 no title can describe this

2008-01-24T03:41:00.000-08:00

01-22-08
Tue
08:40

-Father, thank You. My heart has been broken. and if it hadn’t been, it would have hardened the more, dried out, and died. Thank You. I have been setting my eyes on things below. I started and continued to care about what every one else thought. I wanted to be accepted by people more than anything else. I would not have been willing to give up any friend for a friendship with You. I was the prodigal son, poisoning myself on pig slop, but when you opened my eyes, I saw Your arms opened wide. When You opened the depths of my heart, I felt Your Love shining on me. My condition brought me to tears of sorrow. Your Love brought me to tears of Joy-
in the end, there were many tears. As soon as I stopped caring about what people thought, etc…, and cared only of God’s thoughts, person after person was put on my heart so strongly to pray for and care about, and Love. I didn’t expect that. My attention was redirected from people to God, and then God transformed my Love for Him into Love for people, without redirecting my eyes from Him or diminishing my Love for Him
-Father, let me never exchange this Love for another-
Luke 6:20-26-36

01-17-08 God works in funny ways

2008-01-20T00:59:00.000-08:00

01-17-08

Thu

18:15

Well well well, isn’t this a work of art.

On Tuesday Caleb and Eva Joy left for America. God led them back (fear had no hand in the matter). Though I miss seeing and talking to them here, I am full of peace about God bringing them there and holding Aly and I here. I love them and my heart has been knit to theirs.

It feels good to pick up the work where they left off. Its nice to have a specific goal and to keep mostly busy working towards it.

You want to see a funny picture?... take a look at Aly and me as making up a team…ha…it just now made me laugh thinking about it. We are opposite in nearly every way. We speak different languages and are slowly getting faster and smoother with the translating. Our trains of thought rarely travel the same length of track (my train generally follows the path of the autumn leaf on a windy day). We see life’s adventures, vexations, and blessings from perpendicular vantage points. Having said this, I must add that I am superthankful for every odd time we spend trying to do stuff together. I value her friendship more than my left kidney. It seems that God is always teaching me a lesson through her. She is an example to me and I wouldn’t trade a single other person for her as a team mate for these months, no matter how much easier it would be (God knows it would be easier for her if I was a little less of her antithesis). One last thing that makes things cooler for us is that we were both very candid that neither of us is at all romantically interested in the other (which is sweet!).

01-12-08_if i ever stop learning i will know nothing

2008-01-14T05:26:00.001-08:00

01-12-08

Sat

12:04

God doesn’t seem to be too heavily swayed by our plans. Maybe we shouldn’t hold too much stock in them ourselves.

Yesterday, me and Caleb were going to go to Eldoret, but God told him to cancel the trip. So we spent yesterday celebrating Aly’s 25^th birthday.

I was reading the Bible today, and I get the impression that God wants to encourage and assure us that we need only to trust and follow Him. There are many things to fear, but we need not fear them. (this includes physical fears, emotional fears, fear of doing the wrong thing, or of missing the right thing, of what people think, of hurting people, etc, etc, etc…)…Deuteronomy 31:6-8 “be strong and of good courage…the Lord goes before you He will be with you…do not fear or be dismayed” …Psalm 139 “if I say ‘surely darkness shall fall on me,’ even the night shall be light around me…” even [in the depths of the sea] Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me” John 14:27 “Peace…let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”

One last thing: I am learning to pray about things I think that I already know the answers to. This is a good lesson for me to learn.

01-11-08_squirls in winter

2008-01-14T05:25:00.000-08:00

01-11-08

Fri

10:03

The sweetest thing about Kenya is the people who don’t know that you are supposed to be sad or something when you are poor. I have not seen the same level happiness in children in America, even though they have much more than they need. The kids here aren’t bought any toys, but they create cars out of garbage metal pieces and old plastic containers, and balls out of string and plastic bags. They have fun with old bike tires and sticks. It is not their entertainment that amazes me most, but their smiles and laughter. They are like beautiful songbirds who live in the desert.

Though many people have next to nothing, they are eager to welcome you into their homes, and blessed to feed you.

I want so much to learn from the adults and children. Their simple happiness and their selfless service and hospitality

I don’t want to be misleading: selflessness is by no means a common trait among all Kenyans, but I see it manifested in beautiful ways.

01-11-08-_walking eating and working

2008-01-14T05:24:00.000-08:00

01-11-08

Fri

09:47

Just a quick backtrack.

This last Sunday me and Jared (very cool rocker that I live with, and he has a sweet gift of talking with ppl, and he visits/interrupts me more than anyone else here (which I am superthankful to him for)) walked to Tuwani and all around within Tuwani. Because it was a Sunday morning, there were a ton of churches in session. Some buildings resounded with celebratory Swahili praise dance inspiring songs. Some echoed with some man or woman all out yelling at the congregation (I couldn’t understand what was being said, but it was discouraging to listen for any length of time.). some buildings housed people dressed completely in white, with red crosses on their shirts, others were led by people dressed in colorful garb that crossed catholic bishop’s with circus performer’s attire.

I enjoy walking with people. And eating with people. And working with people.

When I do these, I feel like I get a taste of communion: fellowship, humanity, comradery, friendship, and Love. I think that you can learn alot about people by the time you spend walking, eating, and working with them.

01-11-08

2008-01-14T05:22:00.000-08:00

01-11-08

Fri

06:30ish

Good morning, the sun is just rising now, I just finished a cup of tea and a piece of burnt toast, I think that Daniel and I are the only two ones awake, (and Daniel went out for a morning run), today is Aly’s birthday, and Caleb and I (I always think it sounds so awkward to say “X and I ” it flows so much better to say “me and X”, I always wonder whether I am saying it right or not) are leaving for Eldoret thismorning to go back to the giant open market to buy shoes for the girls at the Tuwani school, Daniel just came back and did backflips for his abb excercize, and I probably should have used periods or something to keep this from being an unjustifiably long sentence. Hang on a sec……ok, I’m back, I had to help a weak wasp get out the window (wasps are always bad mannered. This one stung my journal multiple times while I was helping him)

I don’t remember if I wrote this before, but, although I don’t miss America in the least, I more and more wish that some of the people who are there were here with me. At the same time, I could easily see myself living here for the rest of my life (God hasn’t told me to live here necessarily, but if He does, I won’t put up much of a fight.)

Alot of times, it is really obvious what it means, and how, to be a man of God, a friend, a neighbor, a son, a brother, etc, etc, etc… but sometimes I just don’t know.

As someone once sung, “life is a polka; you’ve got to dance dance dance”

title explanation

2008-01-10T01:29:00.000-08:00

hey, this isn't a journal, but i figured i would explain the sketchy title of my Blog "burned beyond recognition". it was a prase that keith green used in a prayer that he journaled i think. he was asking God to burn him beyond recognition in the same heart as the dross and gold are put in the furnace to burn away the dross and purify the gold. it is a really good prase to describe what my desire is too. i want God to put me through anything that will make the old me unrecognizable, and the new me a reflection of Him. so yeah....thats about it.

01-05-08

2008-01-05T03:49:00.001-08:00

01-05-08

Sat

11:45

Is there any more welcome sight than the bare feet of close friends?

Is there anything that makes a place home more than the bare honest eyes of those who love you?

Caleb, Eva Joy, and I just sat on the cement kitchen floor and drank ginger tea, listened to Derek Webb, and talked.

Yesterday, Aly and me visited Wycliffe and his family. Wycliffe thanks us for visiting and encouraging him, even though we are the ones being served, welcomed, and encouraged. Wycliffe calls it our exchange program: we are blessed to come to him and he is blessed to receive us. Another good name for this is fellowship.

01-04-08 (2)

2008-01-05T03:48:00.003-08:00

01-04-08

Fri

10:22

P.S. I don’t realized that I didn’t mention that Eva Joy is about 5 weeks pregnant.

Her and Caleb moved back to our compound (it is supersweet to see and talk to them more often). I have been getting lonely in general lately, so having them back around has been awesome.

01-04-08

2008-01-05T03:48:00.001-08:00

01-04-08

Fri

07:10

Yesterday, me and Caleb went to Graceway school and helped demolish the mud and stick classrooms. I enjoyed that (however, I have big old blisters, because I only had a rough, rigid pipe to use as a tool to start with). After I got back, I had a relaxed day and played coquet with Aly, Todd, and Ian.

Thismorning…was…beautiful in a completely literal way. I left the compound early to see the sunrise. It looked like a huge, blazing fire had been plated with white gold. Te clouds formed waves that rippled towards the blaze, and other clouds crisscrossed the waves in boldly defined whisps. The fire grew in size and brightness until the waves were engulfed. Finally the fire gave birth to the source of its serene fury. The morning star was exposed not as the orangish red newborn that was expected, nor as a quickly growing child. It appeared as the vibrant youth, on the edge of its noonday prime.

01-03-08

2008-01-05T03:47:00.003-08:00

01-03-08

Thr

11:08

Ive been thinking about monks, and I have come to the conclusion (not really) that I don’t know why they have that bald spot on top of their heads… besides that, I think I can understand why they live their lifestyle. Actually, it sounds rather appealing in a lot of ways (I wonder if I am thinking about monks, cuz I am mostly stuck in a compound with some other Christians, and there isn’t all that much to do besides pray, think, read, and hang out with God.). I have the feeling though, that Monks don’t spend enough time with children (I think God uses playing and spending time with children not only to fill us with joy, but also to teach us about Himself and ourselves.)

I think that life shouldn’t be lived in seclusion, but neither should we deny its value or reject it completely.

As for me, my best choice would be seclusion, interrupted all the time by people.

12-31-07

2008-01-05T03:47:00.001-08:00

12-31-07

Mon

17:04

Well…There has been more rioting, fighting, tribalism, killing, corruption, etc… Kenya is kind of messy in some places, Kibaki was named president, the opposing party guy is still wanting to get power, I just played a game of Draft, Les Misarables is an incredible book, and we are in one of the safest places that I know of in Kenya (kind of boring being cooped up here, but it is very safe feeling).

It is good for me to remember how unrighteous I am, because I can see more clearly the love and grace of God, and love and unity and unjudgementalism (that’s a real word, just trust me on it) for/with other people. [Deuteronomy 9:6]

12-30-07

2008-01-05T03:46:00.001-08:00

12-30-07

Sun

8:30

Well…since I wrote last there has been voting for Kenya’s new president (along with cheating, falsification of ballots, etc, etc…), there has been a great deal of rioting throughout Kenya (we are in one of the safer places that there is right now), God has been giving me more peace as I stop seeking solutions and start seeking Him. –Father, give protection and peace to those who are traveling-

recently, there have been 2 signs that I have not been trusting God: 1. my selfish tendencies blanket everything that I see, hear, and think (until everything revolves about me and my strength {“my strength”…ha…that’s a ridiculous concept})._ 2. my violent tendencies come out (I’m very good at hiding these tendencies, but that, doesn’t help) (they mostly come out through punching trees and cement walls) –Lord, knock me awake when I start to lean on my own understanding and strength-

12-26-07

2008-01-05T03:45:00.000-08:00

12-26-07

Wed

16:45

Yesterday was Christmas…weird, it didn’t feel like Christmas usually does. The coolest thing about it was the times that just took a metaphorical step back, and remembered the whole point of Christmas, talked with God, and thanked Him for the stuff He was blessing me with.

Boy has He blessed us. And boy is He patient and boy are we dumb, forgetful, and faithless. Aly and I were talking about God’s relentless patience, forgiveness, and love just this morning, while taking tea. God has put Aly in my heart as a sister. I am blessed more and more as we become brother and sister more and more.

Caleb and Eva Joy are experiencing God working in them through eachother. I look up to both of them (not as superiors or authorities, but as family and comrades that I am honored to stand beside). Again, God has been working in mine and Caleb’s hearts, bringing us closer together. I am excited to see where God brings us and how He will use us.

Eva Joy inspires my heart. Caleb offers me a firm hand to help bear my burdens and he challenges me to lift my eyes up to the heavens. Aly wakes me up when my heart begins to atrophy, and she gives me the gift of laughter. The others in the house (Daniel, Meredith, Jared, Amanda) are also family to me. (God was not daydreaming when He decided who would e here and when. He planned it very deliberately.)

Random side note = 2 interesting things I learned about myself: 1. my laughter can be confusing to the outsider, because it is often unclear what prompted it, and why it prompted it. I won’t suppress my desire to laugh. So I will instead try to explain its origin and direction (or not, and just let ppl wonder) _2. I really like to be visited (meaning…) I sometimes go off by myself, but I am so happy when someone joins me. I love to be interrupted when I am alone. Whether I am reading, writing, singing, walking, sitting, or even praying or even sleeping, I love to be interrupted to visit or talk or listen or see a friend.

12-25-07

2008-01-05T03:43:00.000-08:00

12-25-07

Tue

21:02

Its quazi-funny how trivial some things are. For instance I am drawn to tell about how I saw Kibaki (the president of Kenya) as he was slowly driven by me, with his upper body sticking out of his SUV’s sun roof, while he was waving to and greeting the people he passed. Of all the days for Kibaki to drive right by me and see me, I was wearing my bright orange t-shirt (orange is the color and symbol of Kibaki’s opposing party) about a week before election day…

… Good story? Sure, but it’s not that big a deal when I think about even the little things that God has been doing in and out of our hearts. Sometimes I wish there was a Stoney Tangawizi for the heart (Stoneys are a ginger soda out here, and they are both delicious, refreshing, and great for settling your stomach) (sorry for the bad grammar with “both”). My heart has sometimes been getting motion sickness from the freefalls, skyward climbs, double loops, corkscrew spins, and whipping left and right turns that it has been experiencing these past weeks. The song “Get Down” by Audio Adrenalin is a very accurate picture of how things have been for me lately… I like that song.

Wycliffe is always an encouragement for me. A couple of mornings ago, I was having a rough morning, so I walked. I didn’t know where I was walking, but I ended up at Wycliffe’s house. He welcomed me with excitement, a great big smile, and a hug that left no doubt that we were family. When Wycliffe speaks, it is as if I am getting food and rest from his words. And as if that wasn’t enough, he always offers us home made meals, and a seat in his house. God used him to restore me (yet again). I shed tears as Wycliffe spoke to my heart.

12-20-07

2008-01-05T03:42:00.001-08:00

12-20-07

Thr

10:25

Well… God still hasn’t supernaturally taken away the “thorn in my flesh” (idontknow if that phrase is being used theologically correct, but whatever it is, it is definitely in my flesh (sin nature) and it sure hurts like a Kitale thorn (“Kitale” means “white thorn” and the white thorns are needle sharp and very long)).

Oh, but wait, it gets worce… I’ve been talking to God and sleeping outside lately (I didn’t realize before how cold it gets at nights) –Lord, protect the street kids- … and a couple of nights ago, while I was talking with God, I discovered something that brought me peace and disturbedness in matching portions … God set me up… He made sure that this thorn found its way to lodge itself ideep in my sinful heart. And why, one may ask, has God blessed me so plentifully with this gift?... to crush me of course. It has ripped away my pride, crumbled the foundation beneath my feet, it has pummeled me and left me lying on the dirt, weak and foolish. The only thing sturdy enough to support my weight is my fiath in God.

It is an odd thing to thank God for the thorn, but the truth is that this white thorn may be the only lance anble to pierce the belly of the Leviathan of selfishness and pride that lives within me. [Job 41] [2Cor 12:7-9]

12-18-07

2008-01-05T03:41:00.002-08:00

12-18-07
Tue
14:00

God knows exactly what we need when we need it. Why are we here in Kenya? Why are we here on earth? Are we here to fight injustice and poverty? Are we problem solvers sent by God? I think not. We are here to have communion with God. I don’t think that poverty and injustice are our enemies anymore than money and a good judicial system are our allies. It is truly a gift from god when He uses us to help and bless others (and this will be our desire the more we have communion with God.). He does not use us on account of our money and talent. He can’t lead us if we put Him to our left, our right, our behind us. He must be in front of us to lead us (and often He will not lead us to great and noble and valiant deeds, but only to Himself (I use the word “only” with sarcasm))
Today God gave my team/family a Sabbath. A day of rest and focus on Him.

12-17-07 (2)

2008-01-05T03:41:00.001-08:00

12-17-07

Mon

17:27

So much happened yesterday that I forgot to mention something.

When I met up with Caleb, Eva Joy, and Aly, we visited Beatrice (little Esther’s mom). Esther is doing better, and we were so happy to see her smile and laugh. Her older sister Faith (who goes to GraceWay school) is recovering well from her broken leg (she was hit by a bicycle). Beatrice, is about 25 years old and is a single mom. While we were in her tiny house, we experienced the most amazing laughter and smiles from Beatrice and her 4 girls (she also has a baby boy). They have so little, but their happiness is contagious. It reminds me more and more of what is important in life.

12-17-07

2008-01-05T03:40:00.001-08:00

12-17-07
Mon
13:21

Wow, I have a lot I could write… 2 nights ago (Sat. night) I slept outside under a beautiful clear night sky. The air was cold… my tears were warm. There are things in me that I don’t want to have; some that I didn’t even know I had (emotions, thoughts, desires, feelings, self pity). The weight of my sinful nature and self pity was almost suffocating. That night, I argued with God a lot while laying on top of the grass and beneath the stars. I prayed for Him to supernaturally take away the sunful and undesirable things in me. He didn’t. I fell asleep still not understanding.
The next morning (Sun. morning) I continued to argue beneath the orange-red painted, sunrise sky. Later, I went into the house, sat facing a window, and closed my eyes. I could not move from that position; the war in my heart demanded my full attention. It was almost funny to ear people talking about me while I was right there. I was wearing a hoodie, so no one could see my face. “is he sleeping?” “who is that?” “freaky” “he is in a meditating monk position” “maybe he’s not there at all but he propped his hoodie up to look like it, and he is hiding somewhere spying on us” “how can he stay so perfectly still for so long” “I think he slept like that the whole night”.
That was also the same morning that Kate (a cool friend and part of the T.I. team) was leaving for Nairobe, and then for Texas. It was hard having everything happening at once. The house is noticeably emptier without Kate here. –Father, hold her heart close to Yours, so that they beat to the same rhythm-
Later in the morning, I just knew I had to get out and run and walk and pray and listen…so I did. I didn’t know where I was going, but as I walked, I felt motivated to take the road to the hospital…so I did. I found the children’s ward, and walked around there for a while. As I was walking out of the children’s ward (ward X), Isabella comes out of another room, and calls me. I got to go in and visit her daughter Gillian. The Meningitis is still stiffening her body, but even while barely being able to move, Gillian has such an amazing smile. Isabella hasn’t been sleeping much, because she has to share the same small cot with her daughter, and there isn’t enough room to be comfortable. After saying bye to them, I went around the outside wall of ward X, sat down, and prayed for the children. God totally used that to refocus my heart, quench my self pity, and build my faith.
After leaving the hospital, I walked to (and into) Tuwani slum (Tuwani farm). I walked and walked until I was almost completely lost. I played with some kids, saw a huge variety of churches (and other assemblies), and saw a lot of neat areas. I brought no money, water, cell phone, or anything else, so I was relieved when I finally found my way out of the slums. Again God used this to further set my heart to the pulse to the True Beat.
I found my way (with the help of children) to Grace Way (the school and church on the edge of Tuwani). By the time I got there, Caleb, Eva Joy, and Aly already left, so I decided to walk home. As I was walking away, Wycliffe’s daughter Judeth called me and told me that they were at her father’s house. She led me there, and I was reunited with my family. I spent the rest of the day with the 3 of them, and that night we ate together at Karibuni Lodge (where Caleb and Eva are staying) (phenomenally amazing food). We had a great time of talking and fellowship (and food). I am soo thankful for Caleb, Eva Joy, and Aly.
At the end of the day, God still didn’t supernaturally take away my natural tendencies to make a mess and be a mess. He gave me a chance to have faith in Him instead of just solving (or feeling sorry and whining about) my own problems. He wants me to die and live with Him; He doesn’t want me to become tougher, number, and more self sufficient.
…and then He blesses me…a lot!...
As Rich Mullins once said, “it don’t do to fight with God because He always wins. He bloodies your nose and then gives you a ride home on His bicycle.”

12-15-07

2008-01-05T03:39:00.000-08:00

12-15-07

Sat

08:35

Como se dice Wow!

-Lord, thank You for last night- [Psalm 107] Last night was awesome! I was starting to stress/worry/allow my natural stupidity/desires to take my eyes off of life. So I decided to walk outside to talk to God about stuff. I didn’t even get one whiney word out… God set up a beautiful, magnificent, clear, stary sky to meet me. All I could think was “oh my God You are awesome”.

I get distracted by the dumbest things, and I instantly resort to a form of self pity. But when I am reminded of the overpowering love and knowledge and power of God, my other cares and concerns vanish like bread crumbs in a class 5 tornado.

I stayed lying down on the grass, looking at the sparkling and shooting stars for a long time. The rest of the house was having a relaxed night, but I was only satisfied lying down outside, resting in the wonder of my Father.

Sometimes God sets apart time for us to do nothing but rest in Him.

12-14-07

2008-01-05T03:37:00.001-08:00

12-14-07

Fri

09:28

The day we last visited Tuwani, we visited some children who go to the school. A family that we visited there had a little girl named Esther. She is 2 or 3 years old and she wouldn’t eat because she was suffering from malnutrition (she looks younger than 2 years old, because she isn’t getting the nutrition that she needs to grow) (not growing and not eating are signs of malnutrition). While we were at her house, they told us that she needed an appetizer (it is strange…that the word we use for a pre-meal snack is the word they use for a medicine that will cause a little girl to eat so she doesn’t starve to death). Eva Joy and Caleb brought Esther to the hospital, and Eva has been staying with her for much of the day for the past days. The hospital is cramped, not well organized, dirty, and ill equipped. There are IVs in children’s veins in their heads, cots sometimes must fit 2 or 3 children each, a trail of blood has shown where someone has been walking, and if you would like the doctor to use gloves, you need to bring them yourself. We are hopeful that Esther will be able to leave the hospital today, because she is doing better, and the swelling of her face has gone down (swelling is another sign of malnutrition).

In the meantime, Isabella’s little girl just was admitted to the hospital, because she has meningitis (Isabella is the woman who’s son died last month)

Prayer is more effective than the hospital out here… I realize that, in America, it is only my lack of faith and misplaced faith that makes me turn to a doctor or medicine before God.

12-13-07

2008-01-05T03:36:00.000-08:00

12-13-07

Thu

19:17

A few days ago, my group/team (caleb, eva joy, aly, me) went into Tuwani, and I have never seen so many children in such a short period of time in my life. There were mobs of them around every corner. A big group of them followed us Mazungus all over. Because school is out, all the kids run free. Each one of them is beautiful and precious (and I am not just saying that out of principle). They are the future of Kitale, and even Kenya, but so few truly see them. They are eagles without a sky. They are the “little ones” who Jesus would receive.

12-7-07

2007-12-28T05:49:00.000-08:00

Fri07:22ish -Lord, thank You for the small times that you take me aside and blessed me. Please hold my mind steady, and still its wandering. Thank You for friends and food and stars and quiet nights with a slight cool breeze.-

12-6-07

2007-12-28T05:48:00.000-08:00

Thu23:04 A ton has happened since I last wrote. I am too tired to write about it all right now, but some of the highlights are… Caleb and Eva Joy got married (I was incredibly honored to be the best man)… Bob, LuAnn, James, and Jenelle flew back to America (I definitely miss them all individually and as a whole)… Aly (a cool friend I met at Keswick) arrived in Kenya (it is definitely cool that she is here)(God’s timing is pretty good, cuz if Aly didn’t come, I would be alone a lot. {cuz Caleb and Eva moved out of the compound, and the other guys left.}{the T.ransformed I.nternational group is still at the compound, but they have their own schedule, etc...})… I’m going to sleep… goodnight…

my family

2007-12-28T05:46:00.001-08:00

Thu17:44 Let me tell you about my family over here… I’ll start with James (JJ)…… James Jea Armstrong (21) is my brother, and like blood brothers we have a tight bond of love, and we also can allow our flesh to make us stupid. We are both willing to fight for out friendship (even if that means fighting our own flesh). I don’t think he knows all the ways that God uses hid life. He is a quiet example of loving and caring about people. Many many times I will meet someone, or encounter someone, or talk to, or play a game with someone, and my relationship with them will stop there. Often James will meet them, find out about them, remember their names, and build relationships with them. I am both encouraged and convicted by this. James is one of the people that I can talk to about anything. He is always ready to listen, encourage, pray, or just talk with me. He is smart good at sports and engaged to …… Jenelle Grace Herring (21) is one of those people who makes people laugh harder, longer, or more often then they normally would. The gift of laughter is a gift that I put a lot of value on. She sets high expectations for herself, but often bypasses my expectations. She keeps her eyes wide open (not literally) (she sees the “barcode plastic world” for its fakeness, and the motionless steeples, pulpits, and smiles for their emptiness). She has seen too many Bibles with paper thin pages. When I talk with her, there is no fear or feeling of having to measure up or appear this way or be so strong or know so much. She neither offers or requests any pretences. In her, I see childlike joys and adultlike concerns. I can joke with her more freely than with most friends. She is truly my sister, and her sister is …… Eva Joy Herring (for 16.5 hours)(the time is now 23:30) (27) constantly (almost) reminds me what life is all about. She seeks truth with all her energy and speaks it with a quiet, unapologetic resolve. Her beauty is knit to her soul. She doesn’t claim to be wiser than the foolish or stronger than the weak or more noble or worthy than the dirt jar that God stores His priceless riches in. she isn’t interested in spotlights or titles. She “stands fast in liberty”, and is not “entangled in the yoke of bondage” [Galations 5:1-15]. Eva Joy is about as materialistic as a mud hut. She loves kids, is a little bit ADD, is a little bit crazy, and in about 45 minutes, she is marrying …… Caleb Senecal is a man… and I mean that in the fullest extent of the word. He is a hard worker, and he loves to work with his hands. Caleb bored is like an Alka-Seltzer in a coke bottle. He “seeks God in the morning and learns to walk in His ways”. Caleb would love to live in a mud hut (not to mention build one). God began to build our friendship before we even had a conversation. God just put each of us on each other’s hearts and in each other’s hearts. He is a quiet servant, and he loves the rejected. I have never tired of his company. Caleb is my friend, brother, and comrade.Both he and Eva Joy are like precious treasure: one is not easily separated from them, nor easily forgets them. I cherish their friendship.Ah!!, but I have not mentioned Caleb’s new parents in law (Eva Joy and Jenelle’s parents)…… Bob and LuAnn Herring…… Bob Herring is a name that is rarely spoken without causing a response or reaction. Bob is a faucet of wisdom, knowledge, great stories, and terrible jokes. Furthermore, the supply is all but endless, and the faucet knob is broken, permanently stuck in the “on” position. When Bob speaks, the wise listen, the proud tremble, those hungry to learn draw near, those who want naught but comfortability steal away, those with good timing get words in edgewise, and the religious people cringe. Bob would say that his greatest prayer for us is that we could, one day, be as humble as him (he is very much joking). He realizes that he and everyone else is a great big “fart in a barrel” except for the Christ in us. He is not a “respecter of persons”, and he doesn’t take off his hat or cower before men with titles and positions. God speaks to him and he listens and shares what he has heard. Bob never tires of telling the same sory, or message, or truth or saying, over and over again, and though we grouan or sigh at the retellings, I realized that I am truly thankful that he repeats them. They are etched deeper in my memory after the seventh time hearing them. He loves his family, and is eager for people to share any words, songs, wisdom, and gifts that God has given them. He is less a leader and more an encourager, exorter, light shiner, accountability provider, and advisor. Bob is a father to many and he is married to…… LuAnn Herring is a mother to all who will have her. She serves and toils when no one is watching. None of us works harder than her or are as underappreciated as her. Perhaps it is impossible to appreciate her enough to match her services. LuAnn’s presence brings comfort, even when it is she who needs to be comforted. She does not love people at arms length, but at full embrace. She listens intently and searches for ways to help. LuAnn is a joyful witness of God’s ridiculously awesome provisions, choreography, perfect timing, and strange, mysterious, and sweet ways. When she is happy, I can hardly be otherwise. Her smile can never be lonely, for when I see t, my own smile is drawn out to keep hers company. How her body can manage to contain her huge heart, mystifies physiology and anatomy, and defies laws of science and matter. Soo…. That’s my team/friends/family over here…

11-28-07

2007-12-28T05:44:00.002-08:00

Wed12:54 The Israelites were led, by God, to the Promised Land. He promised them possession of this land. When a group of men went in and scouted the place, they found that it was beautiful and flourishing, and good, but they also saw that large and strong opponents stood in the way of possessing the land. Of the scouts, only Caleb and Joshua believed that God would be their strength and they would conquer. Everyone else didn’t have faith in God’s leadership…. Isn’t it amazing that we become timid and doubting of our future. If we are following God, what can stand in our way? [Psalm 114]. When he is our strength, what burden is too great? When our eyes are set upon Him, how can we be surprised at the indescribable beauties we will experience, see, and know. When He is our protection, whom shall we fear? Recently I was encouraged by my friend Gary to pray. Is there any season or aspect of our lives that God doesn’t have interest in? any area that He doesn’t care to be involved? Anything that we can do just as well without his counsel? Any time when He would rather not spend time with us? Can a wild donkey’s colt be born a man? I am reading the book of Numbers right now, and Moses is always going to God about something or another. He doesn’t seem to think that he is on a solo mission. Is it a wonder that God spoke to him face to face and plainly as a man speaks to his friend [Numbers 12:18][Exodus 33:11]

11-27-07

2007-12-28T05:44:00.001-08:00

Tue08:15 A couple of days ago, we went to Uganda for a day trip. The land is soo beautiful. When we (Bob, James, Jenelle, Caleb, Eva Joy, me) got there we divided into groups of 1 or 2, and were invited to different churches as guests and to speak. They paired me and Eva Joy, and we were brought to a small wooden building with plenty of ventilation (the building was made of sticks and wooden slabs nailed to a frame of sticks and poles). I was asked to speak to the church, so I talked about following the example of Jesus washing the feet of His disciples and beings the servant to all. As unreligious as it sounds, my favorite part of church was watching the little kids (and trying to make them smile without the adults catching me). I’m so glad that Jesus called us to be like the little Children.On the drive home, I stood up in the truck bed and held onto a bar on the cab and ate sugar cane and loved the wind in my face and smiled and laughed and bounced and counterbalanced to the ridiculously potholed, bumpy road and sang loud praise songs and looked at the sun set and the stars and the mountains and I waved to the kids who jumped up and down because the saw mazungus… it was a good day.

12-7-07

2007-12-28T05:43:00.001-08:00

Fri07:39ish Let me back track a little bit… Caleb and Eva Joy’s marriage and wedding were beautiful and choreographed by God. He truly brought them together. Their hearts and their feet were bare before everyone there. Wycliffe very honestly preformed the wedding. Let me back track a little less… on Monday I took a bus to Nairobi. It was around a 9hr ride. And I think that most of it felt kind of like wrestling Hulk Hogan. I could literally feel my insides hitting my outsides and I left the seat a good number of times and bumped my head about 3 times. After I got there, I met up with Daniel (Lipparelli)(the head of T.I. and the compound{and a supercoolguy}) he shoed me where to pick up a bus to the airport. He went back to his group, and I waited in a huge line for an hour and a half, until I was 3rd from the front of the line. If I waited longer, I might have been late, so I took a taxi (much more expensive) and got there with time to spare. It was very cool to see Aly in Kenya. She felt at home as soon as she walked out of the airport and since then she has just been happy to be here. That night we stayed at the Mennonite Guest House. That was a long day (I forgot to mention that the night before, I got to sleep at 5:30AM, because I was organizing photos, and putting them on CD). On Tuesday we spent almost the whole day at the Men. Gue. Hou., and on Tue night, Bob, LuAnn, James, and Jenell showed up. It was great to see them there. On Wednesday they flew to America, and me and Aly drove back to Kitale (the bus ride was 99 times better than the one down).On Thursday (yesterday) our team (Aly, Eva Joy, Caleb, me) joined with Wycliffe to provide food for the widows and families of the children who go to the Tuwani school (school is out until January, so the kids who were eating porridge, beans, and rice at the school, weren’t getting much, if any, food to substitute for it.).

11-12-07

2007-12-28T05:42:00.003-08:00

Mon17:02 If it wasn’t for the supercol family that I have here, it would be very hard for me to come back to the compound (because it is nicer and more comfortable than anywhere else I go) -God, heal those in my family who need healing. Make us one as You are one.-Today I started a time of prayer, fasting, and building relationships (I have been putting it off for far too long). [wanderingmindcomment= it is a weird thing to be the first mzungu (white person) that a lot of people see]. I started the day by seeking God in prayer, worship, and the Word (not because I am spiritual, but because it is simply my only hope of sanity and survival). I am not hearing God speak to me clearly, so all I can do is follow Him as best I can.Anyway… after I joined the house for a morning devo, I left to walk to town, with only my clothes and a cell phone. Soon after I left the house, I met a kid on a bike named Benjamin (the kid was named Benjamin, not the bike). He led me to the place he lived, in an unofficial orphanage in a slum called Kipsongo, about a 30 minute or so walk away. There were about 15 guys and 15 girls who lived there. The guys slept on straw mats on a cement floor in a small 2 room building.After I left there, I went to town and found a couple of street kids. I hung out with them for around 3 hours. I saw where some of them slept (in front of shops where the tin sheet roof extended out enough for shelter from the rain). They taught me some Swahili, and most of them sniffed glue. While I was walking with them, a big fight broke out across the street. One of the kids (Daniel) escorted me away, while a giant crowd formed at the fight. After a while, the kids said “bye”, so they could “find shillings” (mostly by begging) (nobody was going to give money to a kid who was walking with a mzungu [everybody assumes that white people are rich]). So then I walked to Tuwani Slum to go to the school we help. I got to have a good talk with Wycliffe. He is so encouraging. After I left, I walked home in the rain. It was a good day.

11-14-07

2007-12-28T05:42:00.001-08:00

Wed16:43 Yesterday, I walked to town to hang out with the street kids. I bought two loafs of bread, and was handing out a slice to each kid, unless he had glue with him. I offered a trade of 2 slices of bread in exchange for the glue. About 6 kids made the trade. It was good to see them trade poison for nutrition (though a couple kids managed to steal their glue back). –Lord, be with Wycliffe. Heal his typhoid soon. And be with the street kids; bring them to You- I almost never see any of the street girls, because they stay out of town. They prostitute themselves at night, almost without exception. Even if they don’t, rape is almost inevitable. –Jesus, protect them-Today I found out that Daniel (the street kid who seems to have the best chance to get off the streets) didn’t go to school to take his exam, so he will have to wait till next year to try it (a year on the streets is a long time).Remind me to write about my team/family/housemates.

11-18-07

2007-12-28T05:41:00.001-08:00

Sun20:05 Last night was awesome![A.ttention D.eficit D.isor…Oooh, there is a lizzardy geckoish reptile running along the walls of the guys’ room. It is kind of pale. I wonder if it color changes to blend with the white walls. It’s funny that I can hear him pitter patter when he runs. Oh, he disappeared into a crevice above my bed… I think I will sleep with my mouth closed tonight… anyway…] last night the house (or rather the people living in it) took communion together. Who would have guessed that strawberryjelloflavoredjuice and semisweetbread would be probably the best communion I have ever had. We didn’t “partake” until we were personally given a peace about it. We accepted Jesus’ crucifixion as a gift. We also were united with each other through communion. The fellowship was sweet. A few of us stayed around the fire (which is where we had communion) talking until before 2:AM. God worked things in our hearts, and then He manifested them before us. I saw Daniel (the street kid) today at church. I am excited to see all the street kids again. Yesterday I was reminded of some of the mentality and condition of the kid’s on the streets. James (JJ) gave a small back of flavored rice, and told them to share. As soon as it was out of his hands, they grabbed, hit, kicked, and ran to take it for themself.

11-19-07

2007-12-28T05:40:00.001-08:00

Mon15:13 I’m reading Les Miserables when I have some free time lately, and I am at the point where Jean Valjean has recently rescued Cossette. He says that when he is caring for her, he isn’t aware of his own safety or comfort…only hers. Sometimes, when I walk throiugh town, a young street kid (maybe 8 years old) named Lasur (or John) will walk up to me and hold my hand without speaking a word. When he holds my hand he seems to be aware of none of his surroundings. He seems to simply trust me. When we hold hands I feel what Jean Valjean felt.[an honest Kenyan told us that Kenya is about 95% Christian. He said that the Christianity was 100 meters long, and as thin as the paper pages of his book]

11-7-07

2007-12-28T05:39:00.003-08:00

Wed.13:06 I just got back from Isabela’s house in the slums of Tuwani. I went with Gladis (a teacher at the school) and Jenelle. Isabella is having a very hard time.We prayed for her and with her. We asked what we could do to help. She looked down and we thought she quietly said “coffee”. We were confused until we realized that she was saying “coffin”. She doesn’t have a coffin for her son to be buried in. We will do what we can to help.

11-5-07

2007-12-28T05:39:00.001-08:00

Mon21:18 A woman named Isabela works to prepare food for the children’s who go to the Tuwani Slum school that we are helping. Last night at around 1:30 AM, her 16 year old son died.He was sick, and it got worse, but the family couldn’t get a vehicle to come to the slums at night, so the boy died during the night.The headmaster of the school wept for Isabelas loss. Wycliffe (the headmaster, and the person who reminds me most of Jesus) has been visiting the family, and buying and bringing them food. Kenyan culture causes people to feed anyone who visits in their house. And because Isabella will be having many visitors before the funeral, she would have to buy much food.God provided me some extra money to help to pay for food for her, so she won’t have jinancial stress on top of her mourning. God is faithfull….alot.A few days ago, a supermarket was robbed at gunpoint…this was about half an hour after me and some friends were in that supermarket. I don’t think that I fear danger very much out here. I probably should fear it more. I don’t know. I figure that if I am trying to seek and serve God, He will take me to Heaven whenever He wants. At the same time it would be selfish to be reckless and uncautious. -Lord, I know I am selfish. Please suffocate my flesh-

11-01-07

2007-12-28T05:38:00.001-08:00

11-01-07Thursday18:20 In the next room from where I am sitting are two people who God has joined with me in friendship. It always reminds me of God’s supremacy when he works in different peoples hearts independently, yet the work is one. Once again I see how unworthy I am to be blessed with the friends, family, and brothers and sisters in Christ that God has given me. What is man that You are mindful of him? (Ps. 8:4)The Lord knows us so intimately that He supplies our needs, even when we don’t know them ourselves. All we need do is seek Him, by Love be taught His heart, and by Faith follow His heart. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you: when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; neither will the flame scorch you. (Isa 43:2 )

11-04-07

2007-12-28T05:37:00.001-08:00

11-04-07Sunday8:06 1 tim 1:15 Jesus came into the world to save the sinners, of whom I am chiefI am nothing but dead wood apart from The Life –Thank You Father for breathing Life into me. I will pour everything that You have given me out upon Your feet-The choice is ever before us: follow our Father, even upon paths that common sense dares not tread, OR die.He doesn’t demand that we understand Him or His paths.He doesn’t demand purity of heart to heed His calling.He simply says, “come, follow Me” We so often complicate GOD’S WILL (oooh, that’s a spooky phrase). The Bible makes it rather clear what His “will” is. (help the poor, the injured, the weak, the hurting, the widows, and the orphans,…preach the gospel to everyone,…Love God,…Love your neighbor,… listen to the Spirit’s leading and act upon it,…abide in Christ,…fellowship and break bread with the brethren… study and listen and heed God’s Word.)… the Bible is chalk full of God’s will for out lives.Love should pull our hearts and our hearts should push our feet. Seek to do the good works that God has prepared before us.“Just keep doing your best and pray that it’s blessed and Jesus will take care of the rest” ~ Keith Green

10-31-07

2007-12-28T05:36:00.000-08:00

10-31-07Wednesday22:15 When the Israelites were coming from Egypt to the Promised Land, they were shown miracle after miracle after miracle, but in between each miracle they forgot God’s power and Love. How easy it is to forget God while we are caught up in enjoying a meal of quale and manna-Let all that I see and hear bring me back to You-I am tempted to despair over all the horror in this world, because I can’t see a way to fix it. It is then that I am reminded that the only cure for this disease is Jesus Himself.

let me tell you a story

2007-12-28T05:34:00.000-08:00

Let me tell you a story…… There were once two men (as there undoubtedly still are). One man was poor, yet he cared for many children (who were poorer still). His love for God, the children, and his brothers and sisters in Christ, radiated luminescent from his face (and to look directly upon it is nearly blinding to the natural eyes.). This man’s embrace of love and welcome could melt any ice that had formed on parts of the receiver’s heart. The other man was a wealthier man, yet he worried about losing his money and status. He was learned in the Bible, yet his eyes began to lose sight of “the least of these”, because his vision was blurred by more complicated or more pressing matters. He wanted to do good, follow Christ, be a good example, etc…, but he was under the pressure that comes with authority and prominence and being in a very visual position.The pressure he was under caused a tension between himself and the servant of love (the first man). The trail that love blazes is not always the most logical or economically sound. Eventually the wealthier man began to listen to conspiracies against the poorer man. There was much talk about removing the servant of Love from his position of helping the poorer children (by the way, each child was worth more than all the precious materials that have ever rested in Africa…)(…and the poor man knew it.). Late one night the poor man heard (in his heart) God telling him to sleep in the wealthier man’s house. He didn’t know why God was telling him to do this, but he knew that He was. So he stayed the night in the house and froze his but off (not literally)(nor the term he would have likely chosen.). The servant of Love had never realized how cold the more prominent man’s house was (for those of you who are wondering, Kenya can be rather hot in the day and rather cold at night.). Later, the poor man took almost his whole months salary (which was a very small one to begin with (also consider that he supported himself, his wife, and 12 children who lived in his very small house (about half of which he adopted, because they had nowhere else to go))), and he used it to buy cinder blocks to complete the wealthier man’s unfinished fireplace. Later, the second man, who had been blinded by pride came to the servant of Love and told him that many wealthier men had stayed at his house before, but none had moved to help him heat his house. The wealthier man confessed his pride, blindness, selfishness, and conspiring. He then declared that he wouldn’t interfere with anything the servant did to help the poorer children.
i pray for continued provisionfor the servant of love i pray for continued humility and rightfocusfor the man who was shownthe Love of Christ in a poormans heart.

habari

2007-12-28T05:33:00.000-08:00

Habari (hi/how are things/what’s the news) my family,I am sorry for not sending you guys some sort of indication that I was alive earlier, but this is the first time I have had a really good chance to use the internet.Thank you all soo much for all the prayers that you have given me (my sneaky plan is to abruptly stop contacting all of you for the next month, so that I can be sure you are praying hard for me.) (just kidding, I would never even want to do that). I have been blessed upon blessing since I have been here. God has once again choreographed the lives of his servants. Kitale’s children are in great need. Many run away from home to live on the streets, because they are beaten or orphaned or other reasons. The vast majority or street kids either sniff glue, prostitute themselves, or both. Little girls are getting raped at ages of two or three years old. Some are mothers before they are ten years old. Please pray for these children and pray that God provides us more ways to protect them. They are the seed of Kenya. They will either grow into great trees, that bear the fruit of the Spirit, or they will grow to bear bitter fruit. The seeds must be protected and watered and fed. There are already schools and churches that are offering help to these children, but the street boys are hesitant to give up their glue and their lack of responsibility. Our team is working with and helping the schools and churches as well as building relationships with the street kids we meet in town. Some of the people who live in Kitale have the most amazing spirits. They don’t think twice about giving aid to others before even considering themselves. It is the vision and heart of these people that we want to join with and follow and support and stand behind. We aren’t out here to try to change Kenya. We are here to offer ourselves to God, and allow Him to pour us out wherever and however He wants. Not all of us will spend the rest of our lives in Kitale, and when we leave, God’s work will not leave with us. Please pray that God opens more and more doors for us to help those who have God’s heart to change Kitale for Him. Christ must be our first and last focus, otherwise we are caring for bodies and neglecting souls. Even the little time we have been here, we have been able to walk in some of the works that God has prepared before us. 1 Thessalonians 5:14Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. Until later,Love the Lord your God,Love your neighbor,Tim(o)

today was beautiful

2007-12-28T05:31:00.000-08:00

10-26-07 Today was beautiful!So many children just want to be shown love. We (Eva Joy, Jenelle, James, Bob and Luann Herring, and me) went to the Tuwani slum school (GraceWay) today. The children aren’t viewed as valuable in Kenyan society. What a mistake-Lord guard me against distractions-I am so encouraged by the people that I am with. Their faith and love bring Christ before my eyes.I could live here.

hi from Kenya

2007-12-28T05:28:00.000-08:00

10-25-07 I got to Kenya last night and I got to Kitale tonight.God worked some rockin’aweseomeness to get me here.He gave me PeaceHe provided the meansHe gave me confirmationHe blessed me beyond my imagination. I forgot how much I missed Africa. Seeing the children and the slums opened my heart and readied my feet.I pray for increased faith and love. Also for wisdom. I thank God for the awesome family that He adopted me into.